All Things Hockey

Sarai_132 · 04-19-2007, 04:14 AM

Heres some funny hockey terms 2 on one, pull the goalie, and check your man

(all I could think of)

Jag_17 · 04-19-2007, 04:59 AM

Jeff Cowan has black hands in the man on fire pic.lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarai_132

Heres some funny hockey terms 2 on one, pull the goalie, and check your man

(all I could think of)

RETARD

JK.

FWELR · 04-19-2007, 05:07 AM

SHARKS UP 3-1 AFTER 3-2 VICTORY!!!
Michalek
Pavelski
Michalek
with the lamps
Cheechoo and Thornton both with 2 assists. Nabby was spectacular in the net.

Syntax · 04-19-2007, 05:19 AM

So uhmm the Sharks advance to the second round? Or do they have to win one more game?

Jokes...

Quote:

Montreal Canadiens Joke

In court the other day there was a case regarding the custody of a small child.

The judge asked the boy, "do you want to live with your mother?"

He replied, "No I don't want to live with her because she beats me!".

The judge then asked, "Do you want to live with your father?"

The boy stated, "No he beats me too."

Finally the judge asked, "where do you want to live?"

The child responded, "I want to live with the Montreal Canadiens!".

The judge asked, "Why do you want to live with the Montreal Canadiens?"

The boy exclaimed, "Because the Montreal Canadiens don't beat anybody!"

Quote:

A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole. All of sudden, a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice."

The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks, "As I said before, there are no fish under the ice."

The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can't see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish.

Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!"

The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared, so he asks the voice, "How do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"

"No", the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink."

Quote:

Ottawa Senators Joke

An Ottawa Senators hockey fan was driving home from work and he passed by a local priest. He stops and offers him a lift. The priest thanks him kindly and together they proceed to the church to drop the priest off.

On the way they pass a man walking his dog on the other side of the road; on closer inspection the man was seen to be wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey. Now the driver hated the Maple Leafs and suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to run his car into him. He put his foot down on the accelerator and tried to hit him. At the last minute the Maple Leafs fan jumped out of the way. The driver of the car heard a bang but he was sure he'd missed him.

The two men proceeded to the church in silence and the Ottawa Senators fan pulled up and said, "Look Father, I'm really sorry about that incident back there. I don't know what came over me, can you forgive me father?"

The Priest replied "Of course I can forgive you my son; I got him with the car door."

Quote:

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about hockey. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral ice between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.

"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."

"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed, "We've got all the referees."

Quote:

Toronto Maple Leafs - Ottawa Senators Joke

Four hockey fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team, and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their hockey team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all.

They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Canadiens fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for the Great Montreal Canadiens!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Edmonton Oilers fan threw himself off the mountain shouting "This is for the Oilers!"

Seeing this, the Ottawa Senators fan walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!" and pushed the Toronto Maple Leafs fan off the side of the mountain.

Quote:

Three Canadians and three Americans were traveling to a hockey game.
The three Americans each buy tickets and watch as the three Canadians buy only a single ticket. How are the three people going to travel on only one ticket?", asks an American.
Watch and you'll see," says a Canadian. They all board the train. The Americans take their respective seats but all three Canadians cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,
"Ticket please!" The door opens a crack, a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Americans see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.

So after the game they decide to copy the Canadians on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment the Canadians don't buy a ticket at all.
How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed American.
"Watch and you'll see," replies a Canadian.

When they board the train the three Americans cram into a bathroom and the three Canadians cram into another bathroom nearby.
Once the train leaves the station, one of the Canadians leaves and walks over to the other bathroom where the Americans are hiding, knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please!"

Quote:

A kindergarten teacher tells her class she’s a BIG Flyers fan. She’s really excited about it and asks the kids if they’re Flyers fans too. Everyone wants to impress the teacher and say they are too, except ONE kid named Lennie... the teacher looks at Lennie and says, "Len, you’re not a Flyers fan?"
He says, "Nope, I’m a Maple Leafs fan!" She says, "Well why are you a Leafs fan and not a Flyers fan?" to which Lennie replies, "Well, my mom is a Leafs fan, and my dad is a Leafs fan, so I’m a Leafs fan." The teacher's not very happy. She's a little hot under the collar and says, "Well, if your mom's an idiot, and your dad's a moron, then what would you be?!" Lennie says, "Then I’d be a Flyers fan!"

FWELR · 04-19-2007, 06:16 AM

those were pretty funny, but yeah, need 1 more to advance, just like the canucks.

Syntax · 04-19-2007, 03:20 PM

Had to be posted....

http://img253.imageshack.us/my.php?i...copymo7ev7.jpg

Sarai_132 · 04-19-2007, 03:24 PM

ahahahahah Stars playoff hopes thats funny.

tank · 04-19-2007, 04:17 PM

Unless you're a Sens fan, please put in a bit of prayer for the Pens. We need a miracle to sweep the next 3 game.........amen.

FWELR · 04-19-2007, 09:19 PM

dear lord, may sidney crosby and evengi malking combine to score 25 goals a game so that the pens goaltending won't let the down. amen.

tank · 04-19-2007, 09:25 PM

haha thanks FWELR, I appreciate it, and so do the pens

tank · 04-20-2007, 12:38 AM

It's pretty much over

Syntax · 04-20-2007, 02:02 AM

Bertuzzi just scored..

Detroit - 1 Calgary - 1

I hope Calgary is eliminated tonight.

FWELR · 04-20-2007, 02:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tank

It's pretty much over

now it is over. pens eliminated. o well, gretzsky got swept in his first playoff series, at least crosby won a game.

Syntax · 04-20-2007, 02:28 AM

Canucks are playing now. Some pretty close chances.

tank · 04-20-2007, 04:08 AM

Ah well, It was a HELL of a season for the Pens. 4th greatest season turnaround in NHL history something like 47 more points than last season. Such a shame that it had to come to such a pathetic end. It's alright, such a young team, such great potential, we'll see what happens next year.

Good luck to every one else's favorite teams (unless it's the Sens

)

Oh P.S. I'm rooting for the Canucks from here on out.