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  1. #1
    SPAZALASTIC! Da_Wiinner's Avatar
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    The Wiichat comedy club

    It's so simple, just post a joke and the person below you will rate it, than tell one of thier own. A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.
    Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?

    Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.

    Interviewer: How did you get that hook?

    Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.

    Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?

    Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.

    Interviewer: And that put your eye out?

    Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.
    Last edited by Da_Wiinner; 03-20-2008 at 08:04 PM.

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  3. #2
    vidya gaems VidyaVince's Avatar
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    I don't get it...



    Why is there no Halloween in India?








    Cause they took away all the Ghandi!

  4. #3
    SPAZALASTIC! Da_Wiinner's Avatar
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    lol 8/10
    Last edited by Da_Wiinner; 03-21-2008 at 02:26 PM.

  5. #4
    Locke likes oranges Marioman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VidyaVince
    I don't get it...



    Why is there no Halloween in India?








    Cause they took away all the Ghandi!
    HAHAHA that made me chuckle...


    Uhhh 2/10 for that last joke not to good...I dont have one

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  6. #5
    SPAZALASTIC! Da_Wiinner's Avatar
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    dont worry i got 1
    So this duck walks into a pet store and says to the clerk, "Got any duck food?"
    "No", says the clerk, "we only sell dog food and cat food."
    "OK", says the duck and walks out.
    The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any duck food?"
    The clerk once again replies, "No, like I told you, we only sell cat food and dog food."
    "OK", says the duck and walks out.
    The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any duck food?"
    The clerk says "Hey look, I told you two times already that we only sell cat food and dog food!"
    "OK", says the duck and walks out.
    The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any duck food?"
    This time the clerk yells "We don't sell any duck food and if you come in here one more time asking, I am going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground!"
    "OK", says the duck and walks out.
    The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any nails?"
    "No", says the confused clerk.
    The duck says, "Got any duck food?"

  7. #6
    Shmunior Member Chewy's Avatar
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    6/10 Classic but I've heard it before.

    A man is trapped on a deserted island with nothing but a sheep and a sheep dog. One night on valentines day they are all sitting next to each other watching the sunset and the sheep begins to start looking more and more attractive to the man. The man tries to put his arm around the sheep and make a move but the dog is protective of it so it starts to growl at the man.

    Sometime in the next year a plane crashes and the only survivor is Hillary Clinton. That next year at valentines day when they are all watching the sunset the man starts to get horny again. So he leans over to Hillary and asks "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
    You want to sit down but you sold your chair.
    So you just stand there.

    Xbox Live Gamertag: RizGiz

  8. #7
    I'm Good at Games Dorkfish's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Da_Wiinner
    dont worry i got 1
    So this duck walks into a pet store and says to the clerk, "Got any duck food?"
    "No", says the clerk, "we only sell dog food and cat food."
    "OK", says the duck and walks out.
    The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any duck food?"
    The clerk once again replies, "No, like I told you, we only sell cat food and dog food."
    "OK", says the duck and walks out.
    The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any duck food?"
    The clerk says "Hey look, I told you two times already that we only sell cat food and dog food!"
    "OK", says the duck and walks out.
    The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any duck food?"
    This time the clerk yells "We don't sell any duck food and if you come in here one more time asking, I am going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground!"
    "OK", says the duck and walks out.
    The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any nails?"
    "No", says the confused clerk.
    The duck says, "Got any duck food?"
    8/10

    A lil blonde joke for ya


    So this blonde gets in a terrible crash, rolls her car multiple times and lands in a ditch. Miraculously, she walks away from the wreck unharmed. So the cop rolls up and asks her "What caused you to crash that badly?" And the blonde responded "Well officer, i was driving along on the highway, minding my own business, when all of the sudden this tree pops appears in the middle of the highway. So i swerve to miss it, but after i did there was another tree, and another, and another, and another, and eventually i lost control of my car and crashed here." Then the officer said with a dazed look "Mam, that was your air freshener."
    My Face------------------------------------>

    Weeeeeeeeeeeee


    Add my PSN for some good shit~iDorkfish

  9. #8
    Locke likes oranges Marioman's Avatar
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    HAHA that's funny 7/10

    Ok heres one...three men are in a desert and each brought one item. 1st man asks the 2nd man why he brought water. He said incase we get thirst, then he asks the 1st dude why he brought food and he said in case we get hungry. They both ask the 3rd guy why he brought a car door. He says if we get hot we can just roll down the window

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  10. #9
    SPAZALASTIC! Da_Wiinner's Avatar
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    lol 9/10
    ... One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence. Upon inspection, to my dismay, I realized it was the next door neighbors' daughter's rabbit. For years I had watch her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play with it in the garden. I knew today would be no different and fearing for our dog, I had to think fast.
    The rabbit was quite dirty, as if it had put up quite a struggle, so I washed it off with the hose, combed it with the Dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower. Upon finishing its grooming I jumped the fence and replaced back in its cage hoping its death would be written off as "natural causes".
    Within the hour the neighbor's car pulled in and out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage. Only this time she stopped about six feet away and screamed "DDDDDAAAADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    Her father, panic stricken, stood looking at the cage. Being the good neighbour that I am I rushed to fence and asked if there was anything I could do.
    Her father less than calmly blurted, "What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl's dead rabbit and put it back in it's cage?"

  11. #10
    Dirty Jerz. KTIGZ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dorkfish
    8/10

    A lil blonde joke for ya


    So this blonde gets in a terrible crash, rolls her car multiple times and lands in a ditch. Miraculously, she walks away from the wreck unharmed. So the cop rolls up and asks her "What caused you to crash that badly?" And the blonde responded "Well officer, i was driving along on the highway, minding my own business, when all of the sudden this tree pops appears in the middle of the highway. So i swerve to miss it, but after i did there was another tree, and another, and another, and another, and eventually i lost control of my car and crashed here." Then the officer said with a dazed look "Mam, that was your air freshener."
    rofl.

    _good one. idk any good jokes, but I dont mind reading them.
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