Gah, just say it, I dunno what's so bad about it. >.<
So be it, Nicky. As ya wish.
Next, plain 'n simple personality break through traumatic experiences is retardedly overplayed. There's a difference between that, and a tragic hero/villain.
The last thing I wanna cover is the confliction of character traits. Maya isn't bi-polar, she's emotionally driven by plot device. Your joke of a combination between Ghirahim, that damned pony, and whatever else it was has made some quirky jokes appear in the SU. And not the comic relief kinda jokes. Just as I mentioned in the first paragraph, this is another quality that isn't very befitting to Days Passed Away.
... Again, keep in mind this rather blunt, not-so-constructive opinion (or at least, I don't feel like this little essay of mine offers much constructive criticism...) is coming from a long-retired RP elitist. Take it with a barrel of shoal salt.
Okay, so I'll make a new character with somewhat similar traits. =(
Here goes nothing. My first SU.
Spoiler Alert!Name: Daniel Garnrow
Appearance: Young white boy that wears a black baggy pair of trousers around his waist and dons a Blue Hoody with "APEC 76" on it with a rather tacky look to it. He wears Black skating shoes which is covered is mud and are worn out from years of use. He has medium brown hair which is messy and is hardly looked after. He has a very thin and frail body structure.
Weapon of choice: Daniel uses anything he can possibly use as a weapon, currently stuck with a Golf Club from his Deceased Dad's Golf Trolley he has no specialization in any specific weapon type.
Personality: Daniel is a quiet and good hearted boy that only wanted to live a happy life, growing up in an Orphanage he became very optimistic after his parents died due to a car crash. He dislikes fighting and often hesitates with his decision making. His optimistic views and good heartedness lead to him being somewhat of a pushover but fights out of fear if he feels like his life is in danger.
Biography: Daniel was a massive tech nerd back in Scotland before his parents moved to America and died shortly afterwards in a car crash when he was only 11 years old. He was moved to an Orphanage shortly after his parents death. His skill with computers expanded in the Orphanage and he quickly learned how to become involved in illegal activities such as DDOSing and serverv hacking however his good nature quickly forced him away. When the zombies attacked the Orphanage he resides in he managed to fend off one or two with his father's favourite Golf Club which he inherited after his death. Armed with nothing but a Golf Club, a bag filled with water, food and videos he ventures out into the unknown to try and find help.
Prolouge: Daniel breathed heavily as something devoured the last adult in the Orphanage, he firmly grasped his old father's golf club with both hands. The smelly, rotting human like thing stumbled towards him as if it sensed him there. It screamed at him, Daniel screamed as he popped up and stuck the rusty nine iron into the monster's face. Quickly Removing it, feeling sick after seeing the damage he caused. He snuck into the supply closet and grabbed his bag off the coat hanger as well as his Blue hooded jumper, he stuck the jumper on and snuck into the kitchen, snatching up a few bottles of water and some food that had long sell by date's when not stored in the cold. He then grabbed the keys from the counter near the fridge and started testing all the keys on the back door to the Orphanage, after a few seconds of messing around with the keys one of them slotted into the lock, he turned the key, opening the lock. He opened the door. "How did I get myself into this mess?" He asked himself before venturing out into the unexplored completely unprepared and unaware of how bad the situation really was.
I tried to make this character as realistic as possible so I wanna hear opinions and what not. Any typo's I want pointed out as well so they can be sorted out.
Last edited by Pichu2k7; 08-02-2012 at 05:42 PM.
Well, it looks pretty good in my eyes.