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  1. #1
    Special Olympics Medalist BrandonMcAuslan's Avatar
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    Does anyone else think transformers sucked (My mini-review)? *spoilers-(maybe)*

    Ok I've seen the tranformers movie and I thought it was OK, but the more I think back on it the worse it seems to become in my mind...

    First problem with this film (in fact the MAIN problem with this film) is that Micheal Bay directed it.
    I'm gonna list some of the reasons why I'm hating it more and more thinking in retrospect.

    1) The movie had a paper thin plot - which was also pretty retarded. I mean sure its big robots fighting a war on earth - but the delusions of grandeur (all-spark/witwiki's grandfather/section7) apparant in the film spoil what should have been a simple fun plot...
    2) The Transformers hardly appeared in the movie - the biggest scene they were in was the one where they trashed Sam's garden. And when they did appear it was hard to tell who the f*ck was who?! (starscream had 1 line!)
    3) The movie was "gritty" one minute then (trying to be) "funny" the next - which just ended up not working.
    4) The section 7 thing was completely unneccesary, there was no point in putting the section 7 characters in the movie except to pass some time on a film that's already too long for what it is. And the section 7 humor didn't work either.
    5) The blonde research/scientist person and her friends working for the US government. Apart from being totally unbeleivable characters (How the f*ck do kids right out of college know all about the technological capabilities of countries like North Korea - Russsia etc? Is it because of their lifetime of experience in the field? I think not. And she guesses that the "virus" is actually an evolved technological/electronic life-form! Wow good guess... Or, retarded plot-writing?
    6) You can only tell who is who with Optimus Prime, Megatron, And bumblebee. The rest may as well not be in the film = big peices of silver sh*t.
    7) The marines story was a complete waste of time. What did they contribute to the film/viewing experience? M Bay has a chubby for the US Military - thats it. Thats the whole reason they are in the film.
    8) There were too many "cheesy" lines - and not in a good way (the "more than meets the eye was clever/funnyish - but)... "I.. AM... MEGATRON!" - What a stupid thing to say?! He didn't need to say anything - he should have just got on with trashing the place.
    9)....

    Honestly I could go on and on here. Its just not a great film - in time people will come to realize this.

    I don't mind films that are heavily dependent on special effects - But between superman returns, spiderman 3, and transformers I'm getting pretty disillusioned with modern movie making.
    Anyone seen how god-awful Rambo 3 is (Now its so bad that its funny to watch) - thats where we are headed with todays movies. The 80's action-movie-muscle movement resulted in the eventual release of Rambo 3. One of the stupidest blockbuster-esque films ever made (also see rocky 3/4/5). We are going to experience the same in future - but with special effects in place of action-movie-muscle (Arnie/Stallone etc).

    Just my thoughts? Any care to agree/flame me?

    Also sorry about the loooong post...

  2. #2
    Bringer of meaty goodness DBloke's Avatar
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    See my mini review in the last movie you saw thread


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  3. #3
    A li'l bit different Squall7's Avatar
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    I enjoyed it as a non-fan of the original series (aware about it, and enjoyed watching it, but not in the same way I am a fan of say, the Wii).

    I agree with pretty much all of your points. But in the end, it's not one of those films that wants to make you think (which is scary in a way, that films deliberately set out to make people like but not think).

    Interesting how they used mutiple narrative strands (used more and more in films today). Also, didn't like how long it took to really get into, and especially how long it took for Optimus Prime to turn up (considering he's obviously going to be the most well known).

    If Shaun of the Dead was a romantic comedy with zombie, then Transformers was a romantic comedy with robots. (albiet, not of the same calibur as Shaun of the Dead).

    But once again, I agree with you, that it was bad (especially in the storyline). Although I think Sector 7 was mostly used to appeal to "conspiracy theorists". As for the whole "hacking" aspect (although it's often jumbled up with "computer Wiz"), it's been used in a lot of films recently, and it's quite apparent that Hollywood knows very little about it (for example, Die Hard 4.0).


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  4. #4
    I GOT A JAR OF DIRT. surfinrach90's Avatar
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    1) The movie had a paper thin plot - which was also pretty retarded. I mean sure its big robots fighting a war on earth - but the delusions of grandeur (all-spark/witwiki's grandfather/section7) apparant in the film spoil what should have been a simple fun plot...

    1) It actually all fitted in well.. The Transformers were there because of the all spark, the main humans were there because of witwikis grandfather sector seven were the organisation who knew about it all.. so those things you mentioned actually gave a meaning to the plot.

    2) The Transformers hardly appeared in the movie - the biggest scene they were in was the one where they trashed Sam's garden. And when they did appear it was hard to tell who the f*ck was who?! (starscream had 1 line!)

    2) I had no problem telling who was who.. and neither has anybody else I've spoken to about the film.

    3) The movie was "gritty" one minute then (trying to be) "funny" the next - which just ended up not working.

    3) Actually I dont agree.. I think they mixed it up pretty well.

    4) The section 7 thing was completely unneccesary, there was no point in putting the section 7 characters in the movie except to pass some time on a film that's already too long for what it is. And the section 7 humor didn't work either.

    4) Did you not pay attention to the plot of the film? And everyone in the cinema laughed during their scenes so I think it worked.

    6) You can only tell who is who with Optimus Prime, Megatron, And bumblebee. The rest may as well not be in the film = big peices of silver sh*t.

    6) You've already said this.. and if they wasnt in the film there's be like 3.. then it would be rubish and pointless.. so yes, I think they were needed in the film.

    8) There were too many "cheesy" lines - and not in a good way (the "more than meets the eye was clever/funnyish - but)... "I.. AM... MEGATRON!" - What a stupid thing to say?! He didn't need to say anything - he should have just got on with trashing the place.

    8) It's part of his character, he's all 'look at me I'm the great one' so it all fits..
    Last edited by surfinrach90; 08-06-2007 at 12:46 PM.

  5. #5
    <3 Rach Jay61's Avatar
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    ...Who the hell goes into a movie about giant robots for the story?

    Also give me a screenshot of each transformer and I can name them for you. The fact Prime names all the Autobots and all of the Decepticons names appeared in subtitles is obviously too much for you to bare.

    I loved the film, thought it was funny, cheesy (in a good way) and action packed throughout.


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  6. #6
    Special Olympics Medalist BrandonMcAuslan's Avatar
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    Sorry but the film sucked. It was good light-hearted entertainment. But as a movie I'm afriad it was just stereotypical, dumb, Hollywood, big-budget special effects tosh. It was a great Car advert but it's not Schindlers List... Its not even The Matrix.

    The movie's directorial/editorial style was choppy, and the plot was poorly written, basically a bad concept from start to finish executed in true Micheal bay style. There was too much happening on screen that didn't assist the plot/storytelling in any way.

    When you are making a film there is only one reason for having something happen on screen - to communicate the events of the story to the audience. Micheal bay does not understand this (he just wants everything to look super-polished and ultra-cool) - also - he presumes his audeince to be complete retards... Let me give you an example of this.

    Section 7 guy - We call it NBE 1
    Sam - Your wrong, it's megatron
    Section 7 guy - Well, we call it NBE 1
    Sam - He's Megatron, the leader of the decepticons.
    (5 mins later)
    Megatron - "I... AM... MEGATRON!..."

    Ok. So I think we get the idea that the robot is megatron. Nice of him to tell us again though, by having the character shout into a big empty room..?

    Also the marine on motorbike scene... This is pointless. Mr Bay is always crticized for his use of pointless action. I thought, "how can you screw that up in a transformers movie?" But then I saw the marine on the motorbike scene, which was completely pointless and unneccesary. I mean we already have bumblebee getting pulled by a tow truck - which is much cooler. So why the motorbike scene?
    Also that scene with the girl sitting screaming in the middle of the street could have been cut...

    Basically Micheal Bay sucks. From a Critics point of view everything he does gets panned. His films are always overly sentimental without instilling any real emotion into his characters. Action is pointless at best - trying to be "cool" rather than tell a story (We are back in the 80s action movie era again)...

    Optimus prime's character was pretty spot on though in terms of voice acting and scripting. He looked the part too - apart from the flames, which were lame. Trying to make him too cool because holywood execs think teenage boys can't appreciate something unless its uber uber cool. When I see the flames I can't help thinking he should be wearing big black sunglasses to match them.

    Transformers does have a lot of good points. Its big fun light entertainment. But it could have been so much better...

  7. #7
    Wii > Xbox360 +PS3 laderer5's Avatar
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    Omg, yes the film wasnt good and aftering watching the first transformers cartoon movie, my expectations were nothing for this movie. The only thing i hated about it was that it wasnt a cartoon...
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  8. #8
    Bringer of meaty goodness DBloke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay61
    ...Who the hell goes into a movie about giant robots for the story?
    All films need some sort of plot
    And some hentai ive seen has a better plot


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  9. #9
    WiiChat Member PumaYaYa's Avatar
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    I know it was a marketing deal, but the fact that transformers transformed into chevy cars annoyed the hell outta me. At least they could have picked a better car company that evokes a sense of "yeah that's an amazing car.", but not chevy.
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  10. #10
    Bringer of meaty goodness DBloke's Avatar
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    Meh


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