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Thread: Goldeneye - A Noobs Tale (for the "older" players amongst us)

  1. #1
    WiiChat Member Carlito's Avatar
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    Goldeneye - A Noobs Tale (for the "older" players amongst us)

    Goddamnit! I bet he was about bloody twelve as well, little bugger! Just picked me out from everyone else and decided to keep me dead. I spawned in a few different places but after a minute or so he bloody found me, what makes it worse is the little sod (I am still sticking with the idea heís a bloody kid) mÍlťed me for about three or four of the kills too. Not to worry, as I wasnít in my zone last night anyway, Iíll get him tonight instead, I'm gonna be on form tonight, preperation is the key. Bag of munchies, tin of beer, kids stuff tidied out of the way, dog sedated (gets in the way of the sensor) and attitude switched to "full on". Iím on pretty much every night to be honest, convincing myself that the other players I see online MUST be adults as itís late (UK time 10pm onwards) and kids would be in bed with associated teddies, transformer toys and a copy of Big Ďní Busty stashed under the mattress. That way I donít feel immature sat in my living room swearing at some pixilated figures on my TV set and breaking down in tears each time I see my XP score at the end of a game.

    Level 17 now and running round with a Stauger or whatever itís called, still canít get this hip fire thing though. If someone gets too close it appears my tactic is to aim at the sky and run round in a circle whilst spraying bullets everywhere (watch out pigeons) except at the guy frantically trying to slap me about the head with the butt of his gun. I eventually stop panicking and think about dropping a grenade in my death throes. Just as Iím about to do that ďThwack!Ē Iím dead. It's either that scenario or a really irritating red cross in the middle of the screen telling me that I'm crap and can't even move in any direction unless I relax, aim at the sensor bar and then run like hell. Is it just me that this happens to? Is there a cure?

    Yes Iím too old to be this addicted to a game, yes Iím getting a little better, yes Iím of a certain age group (letís just say over 30Öand then some) and no, Iím not going to let that little sod get me again, not againÖÖat least not tonight anyway.

    Iíll be back on tonight and no doubt back here tomorrow, might even update this regularly so you guys can either laugh and poke fun or relax in the knowledge thereís someone else out there thatís having the same issues as you.

    Itís a stupid game anyway









    But Iíll be on again tonight from about 10pm GMT
    00Angelhrt and HorseBird like this.
    GE FC: Carlito 3894 5620 4868
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  2. #2
    WiiChat Member trollface's Avatar
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    Haha I lol at the spinning part. I remember being a noob spinning around in circles whilst shaking the nunchuk frantically. You can always tell a noob when you get close, its always the same spinning and shooting and bashing. Lets call it the noob dance lol.

    Well the obvious reason this happens is by overreacting and pointing your wiimote off screen. Therefore the only way to not have this happen is to not over react... It takes a bit of experience and practice but if you're still doing the noob dance after level 20 Id say its time to give it up.

    Also, there is suppose to be a setting to turn of the keep scrolling whilst wiimote is off screen. I tried it once but it totally messed up my play.

    Great story and keep it up Very entertaining!
    Last edited by trollface; 05-19-2011 at 10:42 AM.

  3. #3
    WiiChat Member HOOT's Avatar
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    I understand every inch of what you said. I too am too old (i'll say almost30)
    almost a parent
    frustrated at the 'im being destroyed by a 13yo scenario'
    live in the UK (its a uk thing, yep...diffo a uk thing...stick to that)
    am on every night just after 10pm.
    Im level 36 now and went thru everything you said.
    THERE IS HOPE AND I AM PROOF. Whilst not incredible i have more great games now than poor ones and i average about 600xp most games (stick to hero's for xp).

    My advice is to practice, enjoy and use that feeling of annoyance/frustration to push you forward.
    You will get that kid tonight. Somehow in life the older you are the more immatute you're allowed to feel.
    Give me a shout if you wanna get online, be happy to help anyway i can.

    Goldeneye FC: 2871-3279-0214
    pm on this site anytime.

  4. #4
    WiiChat Member Dude_'s Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Running around- shooting the sky, what a noob...I would run around and shoot the ground. lol! Seriously, I could imagine how ridiculous I looked to a more experienced player...sheesh. Now as a level 54 and a 'level' 33 in real life, I don't feel too old playing this game. It's fun, as long as you keep in mind that it's just a game, and you'll have good games and bad games.

  5. #5
    WiiChat Member Egozilla's Avatar
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    Poor Carlito! I've managed the same damned scenario on more than one occasional. Well, not so much the spinning but I have enjoyed some little twerp blasting me at every spawn point and, when it wasn't at a spawn point, shortly after I had spawned and taken a few steps. Thank goodness for the loop of thread holding the controller to my wrist!

    Today, in fact, was an interesting day for me. I opened up in Black Box and managed 36 kills and only 8 deaths. So, I figured I was on and no one would stop me. Additionally, I was playing with a bunch of lower level persons who should have had the common courtesy to fall dead at my feet as soon as they saw me. Sadly, it was not to be and I could swear every one of them was armed with a grenade launcher. Yes, I killed them - sometimes - though they tended to suicide more often than not. I believe I managed a whopping 100 XP per those 3 games.

    I do believe that when I level up to the grenade launcher I will arm it on one loadout and save it for those very opportunities.
    Goldeneye FC - 3450 7897 2575

    Member: AoW Clan
    (Rogue General with the Masterton and Proxies)

  6. #6
    WiiChat Member elflacco's Avatar
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    Also a older-but-should-know-better goldenye player here. And I definitely feel your pain at getting beat by the kids who don't care that our FPS skills are still stuck in the "Wolfenstein on the Amiga" era.

    As such, I decided that my profile name would be: GETOFFMYLAWN

  7. #7
    Poink WiiAssasin's Avatar
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    And that's the reason we invented teabagging.
    MYSTERION likes this.
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    Trying to motivate myself to play: F.E.A.R., Skyrem.
    Spoiler Alert!

  8. #8
    Pft! >.> Kira's Avatar
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    Hey, wtf?! I don't understand why you "old" people have to be so annoying to us...
    a little kid beated you? f*** off! if you are that mature well, don't get pissed for stupid things like that. much easier, DON'T PLAY! I bet that a 10 years old kid can beat you! ..anyways, this thread is a shit!

    PS: I don't care what the f*** you think about this, so, go ahead and reply it.

  9. #9
    is really cool brittany33's Avatar
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    Holy geese Cheater - calm down please. I think the intention of this thread was to be funny and point out some of the common experiences we all share. I, personally, think it's fun to wonder who the players on the other end are. Is this an 8 year old kid or a 50 year old crazy guy?... That's the fun of it - no one ever really knows. So next time you get owned by someone - assume it's a one armed South African midget who is forced to play the game by their pet monkey named Felipe. You'll sleep better at night.

    *This user does not condone making fun of midgets, South Africans, amputees, or monkeys*
    _____________________
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  10. #10
    WiiChat Member Egozilla's Avatar
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    Ah, but you can make fun of 50 year old crazy guys? I never liked you! Heh.
    Goldeneye FC - 3450 7897 2575

    Member: AoW Clan
    (Rogue General with the Masterton and Proxies)

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