id say that this may have too many I's at the end (also the begging, just a touch too many) for it to run smoothly.
Anway, its an excellant chapter, really good storytelling. Hows the rest of the story going?
*EDIT didnt read the last section, next chapter same length, maybe describing memories and future experiences during through darkness. Meets group, keep the names there good. But call the blade wiiblade