A Quick Little Rant

[chach]

get her to move in with you

Not until your married...

[Ads]

[Sovieto]

why create a pointless thread when the only verdict is to destroy the parents?

[The_Loose_Cannon]

what does my job have to do with anything????

anyways, you can live with her if you were in love or going to get married. my bf and i pretty much live together but i still have an apartment to go to when we "fight" or i go to my moms.

[ganton]

what does my job have to do with anything????

It makes you look good

[JD1269]

I wish it was that simple. I would have explained deeper earlier but I was starting my work shift.

Basically, her mother and stepfather are incredibly controlling. Her stepdad was a Navy Seal for most of his twenties and he does not believe in compromise. He actually punishes his son if the son tries to come to a compromise. If I were to speak to them because I disagree with their rules and judgement, they would view it as disrespectful. They both like me, I've known them for over 2 years. But they are extreme in their rules. The mother had been seperated from the stepdad until recently and she was much more lenient, but they just got back together and the extreme punishments and regulations returned almost instantly.

I know nothing will happen if I don't talk to her, but if I do it will only make things worse. She will see it as disrespectful, even though I am an adult and I'm a very civil, rational, and fair person. Her mother is known for severe punishments though. For instance, if my girlfriend tries to become more independant by rebelling or moving out, her mother will cut her off completely. No cell phone, no car insurance, no financial aid (her mother claimed her on her taxes so my girlfriend isn't eligible), and she probably won't pay my girlfriend back for the $20K+ that she owes her.

It is ridiculous in my opinion. My girlfriend is far to scared and passive to rebel and I'm far to committed to give up over this stuff. We've been together for almost three years. The only reason we haven't moved out is because we cannot afford it. San Diego is incredibly expensive to live in and she cannot afford to cut back on her classes to get more work. She already has at least 6-8 years of schooling in stored for her. So yea.

Anyone have any ideas on what I could do? And please don't mention break up, cause its not a solution for me. I'm happy with her, I just cannot stand her mother/stepfather.

And as for the parents rules, I understand that and I do my best to respect that. But when they seem this unreasonable, its frustrating to deal with. Even most of the parents I have discussed this with see it as unreasonable because it is a recent development. It used to be no curfew and she stayed with me for half of the week. This all started because she was "too independant". =(

[King Wiired]

why create a pointless thread when the only verdict is to destroy the parents?

Wisest words in this thread.
Seriously though, if I had a daughter, I wouldn't want her out late any night.. however harsh that sounds, but as someone says, you see stories of rape and murder and such, and it would make you feel overprotective.

[The_Loose_Cannon]

of course your girlfriend has intentions of rebelling but you need to realize what on EARTH is a 19 year old kid going to do past 10PM that you cant do earlier????? is it really that big of a deal?

let the parents be strict. dont interfear especially if the step dad is a navy seal. dont mess around with that. i can almost guarentee that if my bf and i had a child and our little girl had a bf that wanted to "extend curfew" i too would think its a sign of disrespect and lack of concern for my daughters wellbeing.

dont break up with her, just get over it thats all


ETA- are you supporting her? are you going to pay for her school and her food, clothing and shelter? if you were then you can say something. but youre not

[the_flood502]

Not until your married...

how 19th century of you.

why create a pointless thread when the only verdict is to destroy the parents?

LMAO

---

Obey the parents rules...


Remember you'll have to live with her (providing you get married) you'll have her mother as your in-law... and i'm sure if you don't obey the rule it will get brought up on several occasions

"I remember when *insert girls name* was home 2 minutes late because of you... i've never forgotten *insert drool and senility*"

[DRMARIO]

I'm not going to bother reading everybody's posts, So I don't know if anybodu has said this yet.

I'm sure the curfew is there for a reason.

[JD1269]

As the title says, I was just ranting. I needed to get some stuff off my chest. That was the point of this thread.

As for the curfew thing, I would understand the 10 o'clock if it was a regular thing. It was developed to inhibit her independance from her parents though. She needs to start getting some freedom and learning to do things on her own. She goes to school in the morning and works til late at night. They want her going to school, work, and home. Nothing else.

of course your girlfriend has intentions of rebelling but you need to realize what on EARTH is a 19 year old kid going to do past 10PM that you cant do earlier?????

She wants to have a life. She doesn't even have time to go see her friends (not just me) because of this rule. Most of the people we know are late night people.

ETA- are you supporting her? are you going to pay for her school and her food, clothing and shelter? if you were then you can say something. but youre not

Actually, because her mom has been short on money I have been paying for her school, clothes, and food. Just not shelter. And when they were moving and she had nowhere to stay, I also provided her shelter. Just thought I'd add that.