"Yagshemash! My name a-Borat. These are my country of a-Kazakhstan. It nice."
"Englishman must have a hobby. Some like to collect the stamp or make jam. But the most fun is to kill a a little animal with a shotgun or rip him up with a wild dog."
"There is land of opportunities in US of A. For man, construction work, taxi driving and accountancy. For woman, as a prostitute."
"We say in Kazakhstan, "You find me woman with brain, I find you a horse with wings."
"In America, women can vote, but horse cannot. It is the other way around in my country."
"In the US and A, if you want to marry a girl, you can't just go to her father's house and swap her for 15 gallons of insecticide."
"My wife, she make very much noise when she do a toilet.
"This one I have to pay money for, but she worth it! Waah, waah, wee-waah!"
"I had a very bad gypsy attack; they stole my wife, plough…and they touch my horse in a very bad way. He got very depressed."
"To the world, I love you! Apart from Uzbekistan. Assholes."