A good friend, is taking the bad path.

[KrisKhaos]

A wide variety of views here, some of it some powerful stuff. *Cracks Knuckles* Now I may get a bit ugly here, but I hope everyone understand I say this with the up-most respect, but I cannot resist being honest.

Remember, you can't change anyones decisions in life. So, I'd say.. you move on. Nothing you could really do about it. You can't tell him who to hang out with, or not. (..and you probably already know that).

quit your bitchin'

you might be concerned about him, but it's HIS life, you don't have to support it but don't be annoying to him, or you'll lose him as a friend

People often become too wrapped up in themselves they often forget we are social creatures, and that our entire lively-hood is based on this social interaction. As more and more people forget this, and become too focused on there own selves the more we end up hurting ourselves - as others follow by this example and are willing to sacrifice you as they secure there own as well. The level of this varies, however it could be as simple as shrugging off the needy or a vile as to rob you blind. Point is you reap what you sow, so if you give up on the person next to you they will return you that same favor.

but if they are naturally going to be bad theres nothing you can do

David, I really don't think there is such a thing as "naturally bad", and believe that people are naturally ignorant. People do things they so often don't realize what they are doing, and more often than not by the time they realize it (if ever) it's too late. There is such a thing as people who are socially incompatible as well to whom can and will do things if given a chance however again - STILL don't realize what they are doing to the fullest extent.

Maybe that's how your friend just likes to be, I know, it saddens me that they're stunting their life spans and could really get themself into harm but it's the way people choose to live their life. You can tell them all they want, but some of them just don't listen. Perhaps mention everyone who cares for them, but, hell, I can't control what my friend does.

Anyone who tells you they "like to abuse drugs" is not only lying to you, but also to themselves. Most social circles based on substance abuse often go as far as to promote amongst there peers, even though it is blatantly obvious, to in sure that what they are doing is in fact socially acceptable behavior to an even greater extent. Now this may seem hard to believe, but let me elaborate first.

Everyone needs an escape from reality from time to time, and we all have our "choice drugs" that we use to perform this task. Some preference to loose themselves in a good book, a movie, a video game, etc. - These are all form of escape. We escape things so we can relax or find much needed pleasure in form of leisure activities so we may be able to refocus and overcome the things that are thrown at them in life. Drug abusers do this exact same thing, except they lack the willpower or ability to overcome the problem that ails them, and more acceptable healthy means of escape simply are unable to perform at this task as well. At this point the experimentation of drugs becomes highly noted option, and soon they find that substance abuse altercates there mental capacity to the point it seems to dilute elevated stresses that they wish to escape from.

Trouble is that the human body develops tolerances and again these people require more potent drugs to achieve the high they require to escape, and you have the snow ball effect that takes so many lives. I understand that most of you was smart and not only stayed away from substance abuse, however you probably didn't have the ailments that prevented you from overcoming your problems that would make such seem attractive either.

Yes, I speak from personal experience and I am very fortunate to be alive.

Tell him the truth. Tell him what you're feeling. Do not make any jokes, do not smile, and if he's your friend then he'll get the hint. Do not give him the oppurtunity to blow the confrontation off by saying something like "Idk, its no big deal." because it IS a big deal.

Good advice, however this is a very touchy situation at hand. Being blunt and so straight forward is a common response and often met with hostility more often than not, and the best advice I could give someone is to befriend them and utilize the school counselor for recommendation. I'd advise preventing using direct names as they will want to speak directly to them and you will loose any chance of helping your beloved "sinking" friend.

well, his mom died, when he was 6...

Well there probably part of the problem, as people just don't realize how difficult it is to not have your mother present in your life, and some unable to cope with it. It seems that if this friend is able to become involved with "the wrong crowd" as well the father may not be applying applicable attention or taking the appropriate action to counter your friends problems.

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[BrandonMcAuslan]

Cut off his arms and legs, before rolling him down a slope next to some molten lava stuff. Then shout at him "You were supposed to destroy the Sith! Not Join them!". After you walk off hopefully he will burst into flames, then he will be reconstructed into a new persona by his evil mentor - a persona more machine than man...

PS. I like to abuse drugs!

[LevesqueIsKing]

Good advice, however this is a very touchy situation at hand. Being blunt and so straight forward is a common response and often met with hostility more often than not, and the best advice I could give someone is to befriend them and utilize the school counselor for recommendation. I'd advise preventing using direct names as they will want to speak directly to them and you will loose any chance of helping your beloved "sinking" friend.

I'm just telling the kid what would have worked on me.

I wasn't too bad off, but I had my own problems, and I think this would have worked for me. My friends tried to get through to me but I always thought they were joking.

[KrisKhaos]

I'm just telling the kid what would have worked on me.

I wasn't too bad off, but I had my own problems, and I think this would have worked for me. My friends tried to get through to me but I always thought they were joking.

You are right, and it is great that you had friends who cared about you to the point to address there feelings and help move you back on the right path. My point was that while it worked for you not everyone is so willing and open to suggestion, and more often than not if they are having problems they may take it wrongfully than as being helpful.

If this kid would be willing to accept counseling and able to find a good one within there location it would be excellent, however around here it seems that the younger generation is often met with much lesser respect than adults to the point that they might as well not have feelings (let alone be human). Hopefully this attitude has changed since a decade (plus) ago however it is something that seems to be human nature.

[NS_Tr4mpld]

Middle school is a hard place to be at. This is where people start to rebel and what not. I had a really friend during middle school, i started hanging around bad people and as a result he and i grew apart at the point. 4 years down the track we're hanging out again and are close mates. Give him time.

Heh, I can't believe how this thread exploded, you guys take child psychology too serious. This guy is right, time is the only thing that will change someone.

As for the person that says just cause you care gives you a right to try to change someone... If I cared about you would that give me the right to slap a cheeseburger out of your hand and tell you it was bad? Would it give me the right to turn your TV off and tell you that you had an addiction to it? Would I have the right to tell drag you out of bed and force you to work out to become fit because I feared for your health?

MushroomedMario might have been a little blunt but he is completely right. I find no harm in someone smoking pot and if that's the BAD thing that this kid is doing then what can you do. Sure it's not something a kid should be doing but why call him out and make him out to be worse?

And KirsKhaos, I didn't even read much besides Anyone who tells you they "like to abuse drugs" is not only lying to you, but also to themselves. to realise you read to much. I used to smoke all the time, loved every second. You know why I quit? Cause I have priorities now and I take drug tests for work. Quit in 2 seconds too, wasn't that hard. Would I do it if I could? You bet ya. What's wrong with smoking every once in a while, it's like taking a drink every now and then, actually it's better.

I think you guys are giving this kid way to much advice, it's only teenage wasteland says the song. Let it be, middle school is a place of change, it's a whole new school for the majority of people. Some people get influenced, others make choices, it's all life. Stepping in might prolong someones downward spiral but I doubt it will help much. If the kid has major issues he will just exchange the green for some little pills the doctor gives him, what's worse (must be the green cause doctors don't profit from it)?

Like I said before just be the kids friend, don't follow in his footsteps, just be his friend. It's not a crime to befriend someone that doesn't follow the rules. If you get paranoid thinking he's gonna do something stupid around you just step your foot down, that's all you can do. Be bold and tell him he is an idiot if you want, just don't go trying to change the kid yourself.

[Lohmann]

Think NS_Tr4mpld is right!

[Sovieto]

i have this friend, we were best friends for 3 grades. and now that im in middle school, he's been getting in trouble and hanging out with bad people. He doesnt do his work, and he does alot of bad stuff. What should i do? i dont want him to turn into a jail bird or something. He's still my friend, but barely. Any advice?

hes a lost soul, there are many of these once you get into the middle school and more in the high school. you best just forget him cause he wont want your help. drugs ftw! heh you know my friends werent there when i was on the brink of killing myself by swallowing dozens of pills to see what would finally do the trick--but now thats over and ive turned out fine..for the most part.

[mushroomedmario]

You sir are freaking ignorant. You believe people can do whatever the hell they want just because it's not your problem? Oh, I'm sorry, I still think people in the world care, my bad.

no i believe people can do whatever the hell they want if it's no one else's problem, if it makes him happy and not harming anyone else, why not? im' actually a caring person..i e i defend people if someone calls them names and what not.....however i also believe in independence and not everyone is going to meet the image that everyone else has of them...he's in grade 7, what he does not probably won't matter in the long run, you can't predict if he'll go to jail now, especially another grade 7....i myself were into bad things(stole stuff all the time from both stores and people) but now i'm the exact opposite.....

[KrisKhaos]

Heh, I can't believe how this thread exploded, you guys take child psychology too serious. This guy is right, time is the only thing that will change someone.

That would great if the situation is truly that simple, and personally I hope that it is.

As for the person that says just cause you care gives you a right to try to change someone... If I cared about you would that give me the right to slap a cheeseburger out of your hand and tell you it was bad? Would it give me the right to turn your TV off and tell you that you had an addiction to it? Would I have the right to tell drag you out of bed and force you to work out to become fit because I feared for your health?

You are not getting it, and it sounds to me you may be taking this personally as well. Nobody said to "change" someone, however if a person is doing things that is damaging to one's self or others then we as a social society should step in and assist the individual, not by violently slapping cheeseburgers, but to step in and act on things that could be critical to one's health if that person is unable to do it on there own. If a person is excessively watching TV to the point bills are not getting paid and/or dangerously neglecting there health I hope that you are humane enough to step in, instead of thinking "it's not my right" or "it's not natures way". If you cannot show this level of compassion to a stranger, than at least be willing to assist friends and family when they need you.

Changing someone because you disagree with what they do is one thing, however preventing a disaster is totally different thing. This thread wasn't about a disagreement, however about one's concerns for a beloved friend's well being. Unfortunately we lack details of what is considered bad here so I am assuming the worst and suggested seeking professional guidance. It's better safe than sorry.

MushroomedMario might have been a little blunt but he is completely right. I find no harm in someone smoking pot and if that's the BAD thing that this kid is doing then what can you do. Sure it's not something a kid should be doing but why call him out and make him out to be worse?

There is a difference between drug USE and drug ABUSE. Most use some form of drug everyday, everything from asprin to caffine in soda, but yet these examples are void as they are simple and legal usage. Even some social drugs such as alcohol or marijuana are omitted as well, as long as there usage is legal within your area and is not in excess. Drug abuse is the use of a drug in dangerous dosages, and any form of danger is still considered abuse, no matter if it is excessive or used irresponsibly.

An example would be a parent who is illegally abusing the controlled substance (including marijuana) within there home, to which draws attention to the authorities, in turn could result in there children being placed in foster care until otherwise stated. Don't believe it could happen? It does all the time. Not only have I seen it happen personally but also you can read about it just about anywhere. A responsible parent would realize that the social use of there choice drug is not worth the risk, and in turn is still considered a form of drug abuse.

And KirsKhaos, I didn't even read much besides Anyone who tells you they "like to abuse drugs" is not only lying to you, but also to themselves. to realise you read to much. I used to smoke all the time, loved every second. You know why I quit? Cause I have priorities now and I take drug tests for work. Quit in 2 seconds too, wasn't that hard. Would I do it if I could? You bet ya. What's wrong with smoking every once in a while, it's like taking a drink every now and then, actually it's better.

Read too much? I discovered this originally on my own friend and not by some book. I spent most of my youth not only abusing various controlled substances, but also dealing them. The other part you should have read was this...

Yes, I speak from personal experience and I am very fortunate to be alive.

Also, and I will say it again. The usage of such choice drugs are a means of an escape from reality. We all need to escape from time to time, and some believe they can only successfully do so by means of drug usage. People to whom are having serious issues often abuse such controlled substances as a means to escape as well, however unable to address there problem they turn more and more to there choice drugs to be able to "deal" with those problems - obviously they are simply creating more trouble for themselves than they are removing.

So please don't compare your social drug usage to that of another who is abusing them. As for the alcohol comment verses the marijuana usage, I agree. I would much rather see alcohol receive stricter guide-lines while the laws concerning cannibus be relaxed, and am a supporter of the action to legalize marijuana usage in the United States.

I think you guys are giving this kid way to much advice, it's only teenage wasteland says the song. Let it be, middle school is a place of change, it's a whole new school for the majority of people. Some people get influenced, others make choices, it's all life. Stepping in might prolong someones downward spiral but I doubt it will help much. If the kid has major issues he will just exchange the green for some little pills the doctor gives him, what's worse (must be the green cause doctors don't profit from it)?

Like I said before just be the kids friend, don't follow in his footsteps, just be his friend. It's not a crime to befriend someone that doesn't follow the rules. If you get paranoid thinking he's gonna do something stupid around you just step your foot down, that's all you can do. Be bold and tell him he is an idiot if you want, just don't go trying to change the kid yourself.

This returns back to humans being social creatures again, and while I agree that nature should be allowed to take it's course however this isn't always the right choice. Again we are social creatures, and our entire civilization has been built on a system of social interaction. To allow yourself to create an excuse to allow someone to "fall off" is not only inhumane, but barbaric.

It is really sad that so many play off those who need us, but what is even worse when we do it to our friends and family. I just hope it doesn't take someone taking there own life that you are close to to realize this NS_Tr4mpld, and the same can be said about others as well.