The Boston Red Sox have swept the Colorado Rockies to become Major League Baseball Champion for 2007! Pepsico had a promotion, if a player stole a base, Taco Bell (one of their chain restaurants), would provide a free taco to every person in America! Jacobi Ellsbury, center fielder for the Red Sox stole second base in Game Two and procured the delicious treat for all of us in the States!
My joy at this windfall was quickly squashed when the onerous terms placed on securing my prize were revealed. I am only allowed a hard shell taco, soft tacos are right out! The powers that be at Pepsico have opened a three hour window for all of America to get to Taco Bell, from 2 PM to 5 PM on a Monday! Their disingenuous promotion takes place after lunch and before dinner on a day when America is at work! I feel deeply mortified that I ever believed a mulitinational corporation would provide a free lunch to the taco hungry masses in America.
I will protest this lie purpurtrated against the America public in the following manner. I will leave work early that Monday. I plan to hit every Taco Bell within driving distance of my place of employment. I will order my free hard taco and pick it up. I will then dash the crunchy meaty treat upon the ground at the counter proclaiming in a loud voice "Take your free taco and shove it up your a**!" I will carry several disguises with me so that I can hit the same Taco Bell multiple times, I may also eat a taco or two to keep up my strength during the protest.
I would request that everyone do the same! If we can claim enough free tacos we will be able to affect the stock of Pepsico adversely. Join me in teaching these arrogant corporate scum a lesson! If you live in Mexico or Canada I urge you to cross the border and help us make Pepsico pay for their arrogance!
FIGHT THE POWER!
That is all,