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  1. #21
    40lb box of rape ROB64's Avatar
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    nice thread idea!
    i got one:

    A Rabbi, a Minister, and a Preist walk into a bar.
    The bartender says:"Is this some kind of a joke?"

  2. #22
    I'm a gun konomaroh's Avatar
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    Two black guys walk into a bar
    they pay their tab and couldn't of been more courtiouse

  3. #23
    ****** by Syntax Singhson's Avatar
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    lol, this is one i got in an email:
    These are the sort of questions and responses that keep the dozy tourists in their own country.


    The questions below are from potential visitors to Australia. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.


    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
    A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

    Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

    Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?(USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

    Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?(Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.

    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

    Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
    A: What did your last slave die of?

    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
    Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.


    Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?(USA)
    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.



    Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
    A: You are a British politician, right?

    Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?(Germany)
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

    Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

    A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly make
    good pets.

    Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
    A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

    Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
    A: No, WE don't stink.

    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

    Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male

    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

    Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
    A: Only at Christmas.

    Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
    A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.



    (PS - Kings Cross is a bar / restaurant area in Sydney, in case you were wondering , )
    ----------Banned by Syntax----------

  4. #24
    Tip#67: Sell Your Wii Deanis's Avatar
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    Its an Aussie one....
    How do you know you are at a Tasmanian wedding?
    Everyone's sitting on the same side of the church.


    "If I had a dollar bill for everytime I was wrong, I'd be a self-made millionaire and I wouldn't be singing..."


  5. #25
    WiiChat Member Wiily Good's Avatar
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    OMG! That last one was hilarious! How have I not heard that before. I laughed for a good minute. I'm printing this thread and taking it on school trips.

  6. #26
    Iam THE LAW! bigwilliiy's Avatar
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    Edit (sorry for double post)
    Last edited by bigwilliiy; 01-11-2008 at 03:53 AM.
    Pre-Apocalypse Wiichatter.
    Remaining Survivor of the Wii In Australia Members.

  7. #27
    Iam THE LAW! bigwilliiy's Avatar
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    WILLY'S GOT ONE:

    2 astronaughts (male and female) meet 2 aliens (male and female)
    as they talk about their different life styles, then suddenly sex came on the horizon.
    so to experiment all 4 of them agreed to have sex (female astronaught with male alien and visca versa)
    so in the room the female human and male alien they begin to undress and the female looks at his doodle and is dissapointed at the size of it, imdeitaly after she looks at it the alien pulls his ears and grows to a 12 incher. they have a wonderful time.

    the next morning the humans are talking about their experiances and ther female says " Ah it was the best sex ive ever had"
    the male replies "O RLY, my ears are hurting so damn bad, the alien kept on the pulling them....."


    another joke here


    YOU KNOW WHATS A JOKE

    Spoiler Alert!



    hehehee...dont hurt me
    Pre-Apocalypse Wiichatter.
    Remaining Survivor of the Wii In Australia Members.

  8. #28
    A Major PS2 Fanboy Zoro11031's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by arogeek
    i got one........

    Spoiler Alert!
    It's spelled y'all, not yall' T_T

    Call me Justin

    Thanks idjut for the epic sig!

    Back from a one year hiatus
    -=Join the Waluigi Fan Club (WFC)=-
    52 Members and still growing!

    -=:Join the 1st Church of Ramen (1CR)
    11 Members Right Now:=-

  9. #29
    Got Wii??? arogeek's Avatar
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    ^^^^oh, thanks for the spelling lessen i needed one badly, i was due......................

    Here's an old one.....i think..............

    Spoiler Alert!
    Got Wii???

  10. #30
    d_k
    d_k is offline
    Blahhh d_k's Avatar
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    coppied and pasted =D

    A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

    The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

    The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

    A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

    "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "It's not pronounced 'Porch' It's 'Porsche'.."

    YEAA IM A

    ▄█▀ █▄ █▄█ ▀█▀

    DONT GOT A PROBLEM RITEE?

    PROUD BBERRY OWNER

    LETS GO SKINNY DIPPING =]


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