Still listening to Steven Wright.
"So I've been emailing my answering machine which has been sending faxes to my cellular subconscious which has call waiting so in case I'm thinking about something else I can get back to myself later."
"So I put the dvd in the dvd player and it said this film has been modifies to fit your television... Can you imagine if it wasn't? All you'd see is like a knuckle"
"I saw a hitchhiker holding a sign that said heaven so I hit him"