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Thread: The Many Holidays of Every Day

  1. #401
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    Happy chinese new years!





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    I completely forgot 'bout my holiday thread... God damnit, now I've got even more back-up. T_T

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    Sucks for you, CK. >.<




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  4. #404
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    December 26th





    Candy Cane Day
    Kwanzaa
    National Thank You Note Day
    National Whiner's Day
    Saint Stephan's Day
    Boxing Day
    Wren Day
    Day of Goodwill
    Mao Zedong's Birthday
    Henry Miller Birthday



    Candy Cane Day and Christmas' Pumpkin Pie day are all ****ing wrong. I mean, what the hell? Candy Canes are the definitive confection for commercialization-mas, but they're the day after? Pumpkin Pie is as synonymous with Thanksgiving as Turkey is, but is instead on Christmas? I DON'T ****ING GET IT, THIS IS STUPID! Dx


    Kwanzaa is a week-long celebration of African American heritage and culture. Couldn't give a flying **** 'bout anyone's heritage, but culture, I can dig. 'Course, holidays like Kwanzaa aren't exactly stickin' to their roots these days (not that it's roots from the 1960s are all that old). Christmas is often an excuse for commercialization, and in my experience, Kwanzaa is an excuse to party hard. Holidays that mean something always go to shit... =/ The idiocy of mankind stands strong.


    National Thank You Note Day exists to remind the 99% of children to not be sniveling, greedy pricks and to thank their parents after receiving so much as a ****ing dollar for Christmas. Not that this is even good, considering the thank yous will be A DAY LATE! >=/ Rather than thank you note day, this shit should be called Return the Favor day or somethin'. Commercialization-mas is a day of presents, so RtF Day can be showing your love through methods other than a physical object. Who would'a thought that's even possible?


    National Whiner's Day isn't for what I'm doing right now; bitching 'bout everything; nope. This is the day where all the ungrateful snots who don't acknowledge Thank You Note Day do the opposite; they whine, bitch, and moan how even though they got a new PC, game system, and a bunch of toys, they want more. That because you didn't give them an extra $100 of cold hard cash, that you're the worst parent ever. This is one of the one billion reasons why I don't want children aaggghhhhh... And for this day focusing on the miniature sin-bundles that are kids, this would of gotten my holiday pick of the day. But no, since this is a retro-post. derp


    Saint Stephan's Day is yet another feast day celebrating the first Christian martyr, Saint Stephen. Some time after Jeebus Christo was cruise-lined, this dude was accused of blasphemy for derpin' around and promoting Jeebus as the Messiah. Therefore, he was stoned to death because they didn't have wikipedia back then to prove him as blasphemous or not.


    Boxing Day was a day in the UK where rich people decided to make a valid employee appreciation day; after Christmas, they would present their servants with a gift. It's also a notable day in that, since Christmas is done with, prices tend to plummet and sales are on nigh-everything. Since not everyone works for a rich person (and even less of the time, a nice rich person), anyone can celebrate the day by going and spending money.

    ... Wait a ****ing minute, MORE commercialization right after Christmas?! D:


    Wren Day is a... strange celebration to say the least. The actual bird is hunted, caught, strapped to a stick alive, and then carried around town by people in costumes in order to get donations for important stuff. Yep. I feel sorry for the birds unfortunate enough to derp and get caught. Not too much is known about why the holiday has ever existed, only speculation. It's possible that parading around with a live animal on a stick, as well as sacrificing the wren way back in the old days, might have to do with some sacrificial Celtic bullshit. Cultures of the time certainly were big on it. The wren is also portrayed as betraying Saint Stephen in some bullshit myth, so perhaps it's no coincidence that wrens are sacrificed on St. Stephen's Feast Day.


    Day of Goodwill is a pretty simple concept; the gift that keeps on giving from Christmas, except no gifts, and no bloody commercialization. It's basically South Africa's Boxing Day, but better. Y U NO ADOPT NON-COMMERCIALIZATION HOLIDAY OF GOOD CHEER, WORLD???


    Mao Zedong, or Mao Tse-tung, was an infamous Chinese communist, and the driving force behind the Chinese revolution. Unless you've never read a history book, you should know a tidbit of information on this bastard. He was a no-good Marxist, brainwashin', communist dictator. A failure as a leader once he seized power, as well as doing more than just being a rotten communist; he ruled with a iron fist of which Hitler would be proud of; and was nothing more than a worthless human being who was as terrible as he was ruthless in his ambitions. May his poker games with Mussolini and co. in hell be full of six-highs.


    Henry Valentine Miller was a 20th century American writer of both credible skill, and an incredibly unique style of literature; not to mention he contributed to the success of the Sexual Revolution (that could be considered a good thing, or a bad thing...). He was depressing, pessimistic, and critical of many things considered normal, but when you truly stop and philosophize upon them, are anything but... My kind of writer.
    Last edited by Splash_King; 03-03-2012 at 06:35 AM.

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  5. #405
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    December 27th




    Fruitcake Day
    Louis Pasteur
    Lee Salk



    Fruitcake Day-- NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Do not want! GTFO!


    Louis Pasteur was a 19th century French chemist and microbiologist (damn, they had that back then?). I'd say he's most famous for inventing the method of pasteurization; heating for a specific time, then rapidly, cooling a liquid to eliminate certain pathogens, and reduce their numbers overall. So yeah, now y'all know what the **** "pasteurized" milk is (before I had internets as a youngin', nobody ****ing knew... pissed me off). The main reason you would pasteurize somethin' instead of plain sterilize, is because not only is the lately likely to be a tad more expensive, but you've got a 99% chance of killing a product's taste, whether the taste comes from natural or artificial properties. You can also thank 'em for the first vaccine to rabies.


    Lee Salk is a guy with a hilariously small wikipedia page.


    Fruitcake, and the birthday of a dude who's information is scarce... Certainly didn't miss much on the 27th.
    Last edited by Splash_King; 03-03-2012 at 07:15 AM.

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  6. #406
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    December 28th





    Card Playing Day
    Chocolate Candy Day
    Holy Innocents Day
    Admission Day (Iowa)
    Woodrow Wilson's Birthday



    Yet again, we have another food holiday for a sub-division of chocolate; this time, it would be Chocolate Candy Day. Candy. My argument still stands: while I have no complaints in having extra days for specifically eating chocolate, it's still ****ing stupid that such insignificant categories of chocolate get a day. Unless this is some premium shit, sugary confections added to chocolate RUIN THE ****ING POINT! There are definitely some candies out there that can provide a good counter-thesis to this, like M&Ms, but... blehhhh. I'm a bit of a purist when it comes to the culinary world, I suppose... And also a bit of an elitist dick.


    "Trust everyone, but cut the cards."; it's a holiday I can happily celebrate, Card Playing Day! Be it playing cards or trading cards, I love 'em, and you should too. Playing cards have long existed and entertained man kind, dating ALL the way back to the 9th Century, ancient China. Over time, playing cards traveled the world, new games were invented and old ones evolved, and entirely new deck types of playing cards were made, such as tarot. I rarely give a pick of the day for old holidays, but hot damn will I make an exception for this stellar holiday.


    Holy Innocents Day, also known as Childermas, commemorates the day Judea's Herod "the Great" ordered the execution of all male infants in the land of Bethlehem, in order to prevent Jesus from being reborn.




    ... ... ... COMMEMORATES?! 0_0


    Iowa's Admission Day celebrates the date the Hawkeye State became the 29th state in 1846. As with many Indian-populated territories the US violently tore out from under their feet (or tore their feet off, even...), the name Iowa is an actual Native American word meaning "the beautiful land". Well, beautiful until we painted it red with their corpses, anywho.


    Woodrow Wilson, the 28th President of the US. Man did he pass a lot of important law stuff in his time (particularly economy-related matters, such as antitrust). In fact, so much so that presidents with two terms may struggle just to match his first. Wilson also did physical good for 'Merica, such as investing heavily in public highways. He even passed the Nineteenth Amendment (absolute right to vote regardless of sex) in the name of women's suffrage. He also, of course, played an important part in WWI and helped create the League of Nations through his Fourteen Points speech. He certainly earned and deserved the Nobel Peace Prize he got. While he did support segregation, he was still a grand president. He didn't murder black rights' progress too badly, at the least.
    Last edited by Splash_King; 03-05-2012 at 08:43 AM.

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  7. #407
    The Scrubbiest of Hunters Splash_King's Avatar
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    December 29th





    Pepper Pot Soup Day
    St. Thomas' Feast Day
    Tick Tock Day
    YMCA's Anniversary
    Admission Day (Texas)
    Andrew Johnson's Birthday



    Pepper Pot Soup Day celebrates the creation of said soup. During the winter of 1777-1778 of the American Revolution, Washington's men certainly were hurtin'. Food was rare, it was bloody cold obviously, and morale was always taking hits. Washington one day requested the army's chef to create something that would both make a man warm, and warm their morale. Using tripe, various meats, quite a bit of peppercorn, as well as other various (and less important) ingredients, the chef created a spicy soup that the soldiers certainly took a liking to, and everyone cared to remember the recipe. Loves me a good soup like any other dude, the "soup that won the war" included.


    Saint Thomas' Feast Day honors Saint Thomas of Canterbury. Once the Archbishop of Canterbury, the dude had some serious issues with the church ideology of Englad's Henry II. He fought the King's laws and judgement as he viewed them to be wrong until the bitter end, when Henry sent four knights to apprehend 'em. Thomas refused to comply, and the knights murdered him in the very church he ruled, right in front of countless praying monks. Gruesome. So yeah, he's definitely a martyr, and therefore has a feast day to honor his devotion.


    Tick Tock Day signals the end of the year; if you're yet to finish the year's revelation, better get on that, you've only got two days. In other words, ... a stupid holiday. GTFO!


    Waaay back more than 200 years ago, the first YMCA (Young Men's Christian Association) was opened in Paris, and I can assure you it's nothin' like the YMCA of today. Originally, it and it's counterpart for women (YWCA) were organizations with the intention of not only providing cheaper housing for Christians venturing into cities, but also a way for Christians to mingle with each other; and of course, as a way to promote true faithfulness in the Lord as well as keep the oh-so common sins of drink, gambling, etc. at bay. This eventually evolved into being more fond of the proper morals and good citizenship part rather than Christianity alone as the 20th century came rolling in. Along with what they preached evolving, housing for people turned into gyms and swimming pools to promote sportsmanship and fitness. Mid-20th century, the first YMCA in the US was opened, which is where the date for the YMCA's Anniversary comes from. Since then, they've still continued to evolve and become even more focused on teaching proper morals and right from wrong to the youngins.


    Texas' Admission Day celebrates the day the Texans' government changed from an independent republic to, indeed, the Lone Star State. In case ya didn't know, the name "Lone Star" comes from the fact it's state flag has but a single star. Oh, and it's state motto is "Friendship", I kid you not. Eat your heart out, Nick.


    Andrew Johnson, the Vice President who replaced Lincoln after John Wilkes Booth decided to cap a nigga while he was just tryin' to watch a damned play. Johnson did take the presidency off on a good start-- well, however good it can be after the previous president had just been assassinated. Wilkes Booth and any of his conspirators were captured 'n trialed within weeks. From the start, Johnson said he'd continue Lincoln's agenda. He did a few good things, like the Homestead Act, but he was as openly racist as a President comes. He vetoed acts and laws whenever possible, though occasionally gettin' pwnt by Congress, where they overturned his hate-filled vetoes. One of such overturned vetoes was for the Bill of Rights. He certainly didn't try to continue Lincoln's moves on slavery and black rights. He was also as racist as he was stubborn; he was a fickle and angry man, and Congress got pretty damn sick of 'em before his first term could end. He was to be impeached twice, the second vote working after he had attempted to replace a certain person in Congress for someone that would favor him; in the attempt, he violated the Tenure of Office Act, pretty much guaranteeing the second impeachment to go through. There's a reason why he's consistently quite high among the presidential rankings; he's been hovering 'round and hitting the 40s for some years now. All in all, he seriously slowed the progress Lincoln would of made if he weren't murdered. A poor president indeed.
    Last edited by Splash_King; 03-06-2012 at 09:15 AM.

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  8. #408
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    December 30th





    Bacon Day
    Bicarbonate of Soda Day
    Ellas Otha Bates' Birthday
    Davy Jones' Birthday



    Bacon Day-- BACON DAY?!

    31032684901853444.jpeg



    O_O **** CHRISTMAS, THIS IS WHAT I LOOK FORWARD TO DURING THE HOLIDAYS!

    Fun fact: there're two Bacon days, actually. No, I'm not joking. I may of missed it last December due to things entirely out of my control, but I intend to celebrate both days this year...


    Bicarbonate of Soda Day celebrates the better-known-as convenient product called baking soda. Not to be confused with baking powder; you'd probably regret it if you did; baking soda is essentially another type of salt (bicarbonate, to be specific). In cooking, it's used as a leavening agent to create the expansion of batters, doughs, etc. However, baking soda has quite a few other handy uses. In chemistry, it's amphoteric properties allow it to safely mingle with and nullify bases and acids. It's even got quite a few medical applications, one of which I'd love to of known some years ago being the nullification of poison oak oils... It can even be incorporated into cleaning products. It has a ton of other quirky perks too, the list is humongous. Pretty damn useful sub-type of sodium, I'd say.


    No Interruptions Day, being the last business day of the year, is for anyone and everyone (whether you're working at a job, at school, or at home) to buckle down, focus, stfu and work. Because apparently one day in preparation of the next year matters. Stupid holiday is stupid; most people WON'T be able to focus with New Year's Eve comin' 'round. _


    Ellas Otha Bates, born in 1928, better known as "The Originator" Bo Diddley, is a rhythm-blues legend I occasionally find myself listening to. He started as small time as you can get; street corners with friends. Over time, his click got some reputation and started playing at clubs and other joints. Eventually he got together with Chess Records to sell his first record; the song he would later take as his name, Bo Diddley, was instantly a #1 hit. From then in throughout the 50s, it was one success after another. He began starring at bigger and bigger shindigs 'till he was a legend before his time had even passed. As he was reaching age 80, Bo dealt with a stroke and heart attack, barely recovering and able to the hospital. One year later, on his death bed, the musical genius passed away from heart failure listening to exactly what he loved to make, and exactly what brilliance he'll be remembered of for eternity. R.I.P Bo Diddley.


    Davy Jones-- no, not the pirate guy, holds the same birthdate as Bo and is ironically also a well-known musician. If you know The Monkees, you know this guy. Vocalist, actor, and even a businessman, Jones was a part of the band created for the sole purpose of the TV show sharing the bands' name. 'Course, their talent and popularity demanded them to do more than be on the boob tube, so both during and even after the show was taken off the air, they had concerts a-plenty. After The Monkees were no more, he still continued acting and other paths in music; and even got into his passion for horse racing. If you care at all 'bout The Monkees, you probably know 'bout his recent death by an atherosclerosis-caused heart attack. It happened literally no more than a week and a half ago. Considering he was only aged 66, such a death could of been prevented via thorough health check-ups and simply living healthier. A damn-shame for such a dude to go out that way... While he didn't die young, I'm sure he had a few years left in 'em.


    Never has bacon day ended on such a salty note; pun intended in the most respectful way.
    Last edited by Splash_King; 03-08-2012 at 08:48 AM.

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  9. #409
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    December 31st





    New Year's Eve
    Make Up Your Mind Day
    Saint Sylvester's Day



    New Year's Eve is... well, you damn-well know what it is. A party in anticipation of the party on New Year's Day. It's origins are many as well, of course; end-of-calender days have been celebrated throughout the world as long as history remembers.


    Make Up Your Mind Day is the day to decide on whatever the **** you haven't yet, since the New Year is rolling in. Considering going a year forward has absolutely no ****in' relevance to important things in life, this holiday is blatantly stupid. GTFO!


    Saint Sylvester's Day is a feast for Pope Sylvester I; or St. Sylvester. I'd imagine he has a feast day simply because he was the pope, since very little is known 'bout the guy... Meh.


    I won't be complaining 'bout my sources being shit here-on (you'd get it every post if I did), but... ****, apparently all hell broke lose right after I abandoned the thread. -_-
    Last edited by Splash_King; 03-08-2012 at 09:38 AM.

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    Reserve for January 1st.

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