DayZ now works. It seems that they brought starter pistols back. Yay. Could be just a server thing.
I finally found a rifle after half an hour of wandering. Zombie attacked me, so I used about 3 bullets. Now have 7 left. Found a can of pasta on him. Also found a map..... it's just like a real one, so fairly useless if you're unfamiliar with the land in the first place. Catch 22.
I'm not sure any character 'sides Bowser 'n Pikachu can effectively and consistently use Up-B offensively, 'cept in specific situations where it's useful (Ivy's sweetspot Up-B as a combo ender, Link's Spin Attack for dat punishable gtfo, etc.).