Fixed it truck you Nintendo! I can do it myself! It was simply a ribbon cable on the inside that must have disconnected from the wii on the way back. I'm gunna take the opportunity to clean the lens and maybe play some BRAWL! I hope it works. ^_^ I didn't have to spend money on a new Wii, and now I can gloat to my girlfriend about how lucky she is to have a tech savy boyfriend. Thanks for the help guys!