I did it! I finally became the champion of kalos! Now what's up with this tall gross looking dude? He smells like he hasn't bathed in his life! What's he saying? He-
A fletchling pecks me in the boob! How dare he?
I was having a cool dream I was the bestest pokemon master ever and beat the elite four! Well might as well roll out of bed and stare at my wii u for a bit..... The GamePad even has a screen! Well I better get out of these pink PJs, they don't match my eyes at all! I don't want mom to see me wearing this icky color! I looked in the mirror, fell over, blacked out, and was suddenly dressed! How convenient! Now I can go downstairs and see mom!
"Morning hot stuff!"
Aww thanks mom <3 I'm glad you think so!
I must have forgot that we just moved into town. But mom's already rushing me out the door! She's pushing me out to say hi to the neighbors. First I wanna see our high class house! You see we can afford for mom to have a bedroom in this game! Fletchling! You jerk why'd you peck me in the ten year old boob? You coulda popped it! Oh well out I go! Who are these two? Oh Calem and Shauna. I had a dream I beat you guys at being the best pokemon trainers.
"Guess what? We've come to get you!" Oh crap they know about my dream! Wait they want to get me a pokemon. Ok!
"This way! Over here hot stuff!" Oh wow even they think that? I must look pretty great!
"Everyone this is hot stuff."
"Wow... Shauna's description was spot on!"
Awwww I'm flattered. Go on.
So I meet the stereotypes and they start calling me sexy thing now! So sweet!
Now I get to pick my pokemon! Hmm.... well this wouldn't be a fire challenge if I didn't pick fire right? Fennekin it is! I shall call you.... Biernorp! Welcome to the team! Oh and a pokedex? Thank you very nice! A journey eh? But I just got here! I'll just tell my mom goodbye and give her this letter then. OH SWEET HELIX A BATTLE!
SHAUNA WANTS TO BATTLE!
Burn that squirrel to a crisp, Biernorp! Yay we win and you grow up to lvl 6! Sorry shauna but what did you expect when you bring grass to a fire fight? You're gonna get ICED! ....wait that's not right.... GIMME YO MONEY!
I run home and mom instantly blocks me in the entryway so I can't run upstairs and stare at my wii u some more. MOOOM IT'S NOT A LOVE LETTER AND LET ME STARE AT MY NINTENDO PRODUCT PLACEMENT!!!
Well... since you keep calling me hot stuff I guess I'll go out on this journey you want me to do... Yes I know how to use a town map, I'm not stupid. Oh god... rhyhorn.... please... just let me go... *sob* saying goodbye to you is the hardest thing. Geez mom I'm only ten! Toss me out on the streets with a pokemon that will probably be made into a coat why don't cha? Oh god this hiker is talking to me! Ew ew! What's that music? Who's that pokemon? It's pidgey! Imma smash it! Yum cooked pidgey! Oh god Calem I know how to catch a pokemon.... Why do you gotta teach me? Have fun with your stupid bunnelby. Also, shauna i'm gonna give you a nickname now too. "Easily Impressed."
Who's that pokemon? It's a fletchling! Imma catch you! You're fire! ....well you will be fire once I push you to lvl 17! Mineminemineminemine!
What shall I name my little puff ball of a bird that will be a raging fireball of a raptor later? Oh Biernorp grew up a lvl! I shall name you Kweesah!
My lvl 3 Kweesah will be the strongest in all the land! She shall beat down every bidoof in her path!
Youngster Austin wants his pokemon cooked! Well ok if you say so! Zigzagoon eh? You shall be zigzacooked!
"You shoulda told me you were that strong!" I did say I was gonna roast your pokemon, didn't I? No? I coulda swore I did. Gimma yo moneh!
Oh Easily Impressed wants to walk together. Yes heal my pokemon because I said so! Easiest forest maze ever! I guess I'll do a tiny bit of grinding while I'm in here, just to be OP for the gym ahead! Easily Impressed found a paralyze heal! Daww it's a weedle! You don't breathe fire do you? No? I think black looks good on you!
So I'm gonna grind a while.
... youngter joey where's your rattata?
Kweesah grew to lvl 6 and learned quick attack
Kweesah grew to lvl 10 and learned Peck!
Heheheh roller skater rinka. PUN PUN PUN! I come out on top, of course. I mean she's got a zigzagoon for dome's sake! And now I gots teh rollar skates!
Also I'm gonna buy a new hat! I gots a red fedora because it was the only red thing they had! Now that the both of the guys are lvl 10 let's go to the gym! Ledyba told a bad joke! Biernorp is confused! Biernorp stop hitting yourself! Good the ledyba is fainted! ....let's go get evolved and come back later!
Ewwww psyduck used water sport. gross.
Guh... litleo hunting! I wants a male one but I'm not finding ANY! Not good! But so many azurills! If I was doing water sure but I'm not so there.
You know that hour or so I started out on my litleo hunt I was sure I'd find a few fast. Well I am now convinced azurills are the new zubat.
OH SWEET JESUS I FOUND A MALE LITLEO! YES YES! Now I shall claim as mine!
Whew.... now that my hunt is over, I shall raise it up to the same lvl as Kweesah. And his name shall be Bernard. Because shut up.
At the gym now! Viola you gonnin down! My Kweesah is gonna eat your bugs! Wait NO NOT INFESTATION! I hate this move... QUICK ATTACK! And she's down! Boo yeah! Kweesah is now lvl 15! Bernard has now learned headbutt! I didn't do squat to show a new field of depth. You're crazy lady. Gimme my badge! Let me leave! Woohoo! Yo champ in the making! Here comes hot stuff! Gimme that exp share! To Lumiose! Also people give you a lot of free stuff in kalos don't they? I wanna live here! Gimme free stuff!
Anyway that'll be it to report for now I leave you off with my current team!
Bernard the Litleo lvl 12
Biernorp the Fennekin lvl 13
Kweesah the Fletchling lvl 15