'm upstairs the other day, trying on my sisters cords,
when a man comes knocking on my door,from the electric board,
wel i thort about, letting him in,but i wasnt finkin fast,
he'd only been thre 1/2 an hour and he pushed his way right passed...

i said ow mush, **** off, who do ew fink ew r?
dun ew look at me like tha, i'll do u ****in car,
i said ow mush, **** off, who do ew fink ew r?
dun ew look at me like tha, i'll do u ****in car,

so i'm standin there, pickin up my teeth,when the landlord comes around,
OW u little bastard, he said, u ows me forty pound!
he throws me up against the wall, and tries to grab my giro,
so i kicked the bastard in the balls and stabbed him wiv my biro, n said...

OW MUSH, **** off,who do ew fink u r?
dun ew look at me like tha i'll do ew ****in car,
i sed ow mush, **** off,who dew fink u r?
u money grabbing bastard, i'll do ew ****in car

next fing i knows,plods at my door,waving all thier trunchons,
they tries to pin me to the floor,so i ****in uped an punched one,
then they throws me in tha van, and questions me for hours,
and one sed wait till u go down, they'll love u in the showers!

i sed ow mush,**** off, who dew fink u r?
incinerating fings like that, i'll torch u ****in car,
i sed ow mush,**** off,he sed dont talk to me like that,
so i stuck the ****in head in,and sed handcuff that u twat!

so thats y im in strangeways, doin a stretch of bird,
the judge called on me to change my ways, an i called him a turd,
i sed i'll do my time standing on my head,u havnt got me beat,
he sed well hav another ****in year, an get back on u feet!

i sed ow mush, **** off!who do ew think ew r?
dun ew sentance me like that, i'll do ew ****in car,
i sed ow mush, **** off, who do ew fink ew r,
u big fat wigged up bastard, i'll do u ****in car!!!