Why Wario, why?

CBanga

I am in a love-hate relationship. It isn't my own fault, I promise! I tried my best to keep the relationship afloat for as long as possible. I was outgoing, energetic, cooperative, and I even put out during those long nights when I should have been sleeping. However, I am not sure that this relationship thing is going to work out. Maybe I will give it one more chance. I was really hoping that this one would work out.

This love affair isn't with any girl or anything. Hell, my girlfriend and I get along great. This is a different kind of relationship. In fact, I would prefer if you kept this relationship from my girlfriend. This entire conversation is just between you and me. I am not doing anything wrong per se. I would just rather her not know.

Alright, I have been avoiding the question for too long now. Who is this affair with you ask? Well, it is with WarioWare: Smooth Moves. Before you jump up out of your seat in anger, give me a chance to explain! I didn't want this to happen, it was my friend Dillon's idea! He was the one who brought the sexy pink box art to my attention. It didn't take long for me to trade in the old fling, Excite Truck if you must ask, for this new electronic lover.

I brought WarioWare back to my room and things started to get a little freaky. We immediately hit it off with no problem. The connection we shared was pure magic. Single-player mode is amazing. I had never played a WarioWare game before I picked up the Wii title. No doubt about it, the single-player mode of WarioWare is amazing. Plainly stated, no other game on the Wii right now shows off the Nintendo Wii slogan of “Playing is believing!” better than WarioWare. The game features about ten different miniature stories with about fifteen micro-games per story. In-game characters like Jimmy T. and 9-Volt are highly entertaining. The game also features a dozen or so Form Baton stances to master. However, the game is what some would call a quickie. It will only take about five hours to unlock most of what the game has to offer.

For those unaware with the WarioWare mold, the game consists of short micro-games which could easily be described as five seconds of madness. Basically, you beat one micro-game in order to move on to another. This pattern repeats itself over and over. It is a fairly simple principle which has much more depth than I could describe in writing. Each micro-game is wonderfully crafted into five seconds of pure bliss. The games are also incredibly ridiculous. One micro-game will force a player to scrub a cow's ass while another teaches the player to shave nose hair. The humor in the game is amazingly well done. I would almost guarantee a minimum of three laughs to any gamer who plays through the entire single-player mode. Nintendo obviously focused on gameplay and humor while developing WarioWare and it is obvious that the game delivers in these categories.

So, why is this a love-hate relationship? Don't get me wrong, the game is AMAZING. Without a doubt in my mind, it is the best use of the Wiimote so far. The game shows off the Wii much like bicycle shorts show off my manhood. Yeah, WarioWare is just that amazing. However, much like my bicycle shorts, this title lacks length. I felt like I played through the entire title after only a couple of hours. Don't get me wrong, great titles can be short. However, it is hard for me to justify a fifty dollar purchase on a game which will only get me a couple hours of gameplay.

Another fault I found in the game was multi-player. In some relationships, constant one-on-one interaction can get dull. Adding one or two more people into the mix can easily spice up this snooze fest. The problem is, the multi-player in WarioWare couldn't spice up white rice. In my opinion, it is rather boring. I think this is because the multi-player mode isn't even available until the single-player mode has been completely finished by one individual. This gives one player in a multi-player match amazing skill at certain micro-games while opponents remain piss-poor. This ruins multi-player in my opinion. I imagine that this would be like myself playing David Beckham in a soccer match. Sure, I played soccer in high school and I have a decent grasp of the game. However, David Beckham is still a professional athlete. Even if he is getting old, he would still whoop my ass. WarioWare multi-player is the same way, except for the fact that your badass friend at the game will play the roll of David Beckham.

If anything, I must admit that this game has really shown me what the Wii is capable of. If the first wave of Wii software has made anybody question the ability of the small white system that could, WarioWare puts those doubts to rest. The game is simply one of the most innovative pieces of software I have ever owned. The Wiimote almost feels like an extension of the body while playing through the finely crafted micro-games. Each game requires no explanation because the action required feels natural. The art style is lovable and the characters are hysterical. Without a doubt in my mind, this is the single Wii game to own if you want to show your friends and family the Nintendo difference.

So, what do I do with my tangled set of emotions toward this game? Like any relationship, I have poured my heart and soul into making things work. As cliché as it sounds, I truly believe that time will be the ultimate judge. It might take a week, but I will keep searching for more of that sweet WarioWare magic. I can't guarantee a happy ending between this title and I, but I will definitely work toward repairing our currently broken bond. Expect a full review on episode five of the WiiChat.com Show.

Wii_BrEnDo2007

Well me and my m8s played multiplayer for 4 hrs i totally disagree!

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PS3 PSN: GTRacer1967

if you dont play gran turismo 5 P...you suck at life

Goose461

Oh come on, it wasnt necessary to write that much. was it? Nobody is going to read all of that.....like the guys above me for example. Wario Ware is a good game.....for a while. I'll agree that it can do with some work, but overall its a fun.....errr like games are supposed to be. So be quiet u silly little hermet man

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VIVA LA WIIVOLUTION!!!!!!!

En4Neo

I disagree, multiplayer is just a sweatswap fest. Why WW so against normal multiplayer is what I don't understand.

I think most people are missing the concept of the game. I agree it's lacking, but the game isn't something you just finish and it's over. It's good for quick bursts of fun.

Raij

We would probably play WW multiplayer 10x as frequently if you could use more than one wiimote >:| Game's biggest downfall IMO.

Phelyx

First off kudos for a nicely formatted post. It is like you were writting a magazine article and not a forum post.

I bought the warioware because it was often checked out at my local rental shop. I also wish I rented instead of purchased. I unlocked the game in one afternoon as well. I thought the game would be similar to the gamecube version in that it allowed you to play individual form games to a certain level as well (0-99), that wasn't the case.

I agree with the multiplayer situation if you have for example a girlfriend who sucks at gaming like I have (she gets 70's in wii sports fitness). I would love to play starnose against the computer but I'll have to settle with my somewhat retarded at gaming girl.

I was thinking about keeping it around for house parties but I'm likely to sell it on ebay for excite truck.

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Currently own: Wii Sports, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Wario Ware: Smooth Moves

Live in Chicagoland? Lets trade.

EasyTarget

I think the article is very well written. I enjoyed it. I havent played wario ware yet so it was pretty informative. Recently I had been contemplating trading in sonic and elebits for wario ware but I think I'm going to hold off for blazing angels or prince of persia. If you havent played SSX blur I would suggest picking that up.

spawnminion

heyman if your bored and finished with the game just sell itto someone, or give it to them as a gift even though you paid 50 bucks. I really think that someone else would like it very much.:P

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You can't beat the,"Wiitastic Master", cause I just so fanatastic. That's why Im the master of Diaster

theangelwing

meh, i bought it. I played it. I returned it. hehe

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AussieWii

there doesnt seem to be a vomit smiley

You Just Cant Be Serious

LowTek

Where can you return opened games?