Lol don't worry...errm it might depend on what assist settings you've got on. There's different ones, like manual (you do everything yourself), assisted (it decides for you a little bit), and automatic (it decides for you a lot). I think that's what they're called. But anyway, just use the different crosses, e.g. double tap cross for a low front post cross, or hold RB (I think, I'm PS3 remember) when you cross and it does an early cross. You'll get used to knowing what to do in each situation, just keep practicing.
Erm yeah it's alright for crossing, it works well to get through balls to Torres though, since you get the ball to Torres, knock it Gerrard and make Torres run, then Gerrard can send it through. Or you can do it with the wingers to put them up the line then they can cross it in. It's nicely attacking with enough backbone to defend.
Just the default one. Then I switch players depending on the Adidas Live Update (which changes their stats depending on how they have played in real life), but I don't think you have that.