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A Quick Little Rant

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by JD1269, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. JD1269

    JD1269 The Ultimate Neutral

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    Does anyone see anything wrong with a nineteen year old girl (almost twenty) having a 10pm curfew? Especially when she is entering into her second year of college. Gah! I hate my girlfriend's mother with a passion. I just need some feedback so that I know my feelings are justifiable. My girlfriend does well in school (fulltime), works part time, takes care of her five animals and takes care of her stepdad's ferrets because he doesn't. She obeys every stupid little rule they lay down on her and is your typical Cinderella story girl. She doesn't even drink or do any drugs. I just cannot see how her mother feels that a 10 o'clock curfew (as well as forbidding me from their home currently, as a punishment for being 2 minutes late the first night of the curfew) is necessary and appropriate. It's beginning to drive me nuts (its been in place for three weeks)... *sigh*
     
  2. Awempty

    Awempty WiiChat Member

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    I think your feelings are justifiable; the rules they put upon her are ridiculous for a 19 year old girl. She should be old enough to have no rules from her parents to restrict her freedom.
     
  3. surfinrach90

    surfinrach90 I GOT A JAR OF DIRT.

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    Yeah that is pretty stupid, I can see why you're angry :/

    Maybe her mum has person reasons for doing this, I dunno maybe from when she was that age and is now taking it out on her daughter, bah, I dunno.. I watch to much Frasier.

    She'll probably cool down after a while, I mean when I started going down into the next town to see the boyf I had to be back on the 9:10 PM bus, but now my mother let's me come back on the 10:40 PM bus, she'll loosen up.

    Maybe you're girlfriend should confront her mother, I mean, she is an adult after all.

    Just keep in the good books with her mum and things will perk up =]

    Keep us up to date with everything too, good luck :)
     
  4. TacosTacos

    TacosTacos WiiChat.com>Match.com

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    a) Get her to move out of her parents house.

    b) Get a new girlfriend. You don't need to deal with this as a first year college student. Really...this is not the time for girlfriends, especially ones that can't have fun.

    c) Give me her phone number.
     
  5. Gaz

    Gaz Poker Face :D

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    just talk to the mum, find out why, and try to come to a comprimise, nothing will happen if you don't talk to her.
     
  6. miiguy

    miiguy All I can hear is you.

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    [​IMG]

    *Old Wise man speaks*

    As a parent I'm lucky, I have a son, but think of how you might feel letting your daughter out when on the news all we see is people being killed, attacked etc.

    I ain't saying there right, 10pm does seem a little excessive, but as Gaz said, talk to her mom, but remember she is a mom and until you do it yourself, it's kinda hard to understand.

    edit: be a dad that is, unless I missed something.....
     
    #6 miiguy, Jun 28, 2007
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2007
  7. if she lives with her parents, then its still their rules. regardless if shes 18 and legal, she is STILL under her parents roof. therefore they are still incharge of when she comes in and out of the house.

    its also a respect factor. sometimes i stay at my moms if i dont go home to my place. i come home VERY early instead of going out and comming home late becuase she is sleeping and its respectful. im also 22 years old. she may yell at me but she cant do anything about it. its just respect
     
  8. chach

    chach umm yaa.... anybody here?

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    Parents house, parents rules. She should be on her own anyways...
     
  9. ganton

    ganton sleeps with the fishes

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    get her to move in with you
     
  10. ganton

    ganton sleeps with the fishes

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    and loose is a cop so her post counts double

    sorry for the double post
     
  11. chach

    chach umm yaa.... anybody here?

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    :nono:

    Not until your married...
     
  12. Sovieto

    Sovieto Banned

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    why create a pointless thread when the only verdict is to destroy the parents?
     
  13. what does my job have to do with anything???? :rolleyes:

    anyways, you can live with her if you were in love or going to get married. my bf and i pretty much live together but i still have an apartment to go to when we "fight" or i go to my moms.
     
  14. ganton

    ganton sleeps with the fishes

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    It makes you look good
     
  15. JD1269

    JD1269 The Ultimate Neutral

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    I wish it was that simple. I would have explained deeper earlier but I was starting my work shift.

    Basically, her mother and stepfather are incredibly controlling. Her stepdad was a Navy Seal for most of his twenties and he does not believe in compromise. He actually punishes his son if the son tries to come to a compromise. If I were to speak to them because I disagree with their rules and judgement, they would view it as disrespectful. They both like me, I've known them for over 2 years. But they are extreme in their rules. The mother had been seperated from the stepdad until recently and she was much more lenient, but they just got back together and the extreme punishments and regulations returned almost instantly.

    I know nothing will happen if I don't talk to her, but if I do it will only make things worse. She will see it as disrespectful, even though I am an adult and I'm a very civil, rational, and fair person. Her mother is known for severe punishments though. For instance, if my girlfriend tries to become more independant by rebelling or moving out, her mother will cut her off completely. No cell phone, no car insurance, no financial aid (her mother claimed her on her taxes so my girlfriend isn't eligible), and she probably won't pay my girlfriend back for the $20K+ that she owes her.

    It is ridiculous in my opinion. My girlfriend is far to scared and passive to rebel and I'm far to committed to give up over this stuff. We've been together for almost three years. The only reason we haven't moved out is because we cannot afford it. San Diego is incredibly expensive to live in and she cannot afford to cut back on her classes to get more work. She already has at least 6-8 years of schooling in stored for her. So yea.

    Anyone have any ideas on what I could do? And please don't mention break up, cause its not a solution for me. I'm happy with her, I just cannot stand her mother/stepfather.

    And as for the parents rules, I understand that and I do my best to respect that. But when they seem this unreasonable, its frustrating to deal with. Even most of the parents I have discussed this with see it as unreasonable because it is a recent development. It used to be no curfew and she stayed with me for half of the week. This all started because she was "too independant". =(
     
  16. King Wiired

    King Wiired HITLER ME JEZ

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    Wisest words in this thread.
    Seriously though, if I had a daughter, I wouldn't want her out late any night.. however harsh that sounds, but as someone says, you see stories of rape and murder and such, and it would make you feel overprotective.
     
  17. of course your girlfriend has intentions of rebelling but you need to realize what on EARTH is a 19 year old kid going to do past 10PM that you cant do earlier????? is it really that big of a deal?

    let the parents be strict. dont interfear especially if the step dad is a navy seal. dont mess around with that. i can almost guarentee that if my bf and i had a child and our little girl had a bf that wanted to "extend curfew" i too would think its a sign of disrespect and lack of concern for my daughters wellbeing.

    dont break up with her, just get over it thats all


    ETA- are you supporting her? are you going to pay for her school and her food, clothing and shelter? if you were then you can say something. but youre not
     
  18. the_flood502

    the_flood502 WiiChat Member

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    how 19th century of you.


    LMAO

    ---

    Obey the parents rules...


    Remember you'll have to live with her (providing you get married) you'll have her mother as your in-law... and i'm sure if you don't obey the rule it will get brought up on several occasions

    "I remember when *insert girls name* was home 2 minutes late because of you... i've never forgotten *insert drool and senility*"
     
  19. DRMARIO

    DRMARIO Controversial.

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    I'm not going to bother reading everybody's posts, So I don't know if anybodu has said this yet.

    I'm sure the curfew is there for a reason.
     
  20. JD1269

    JD1269 The Ultimate Neutral

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    As the title says, I was just ranting. I needed to get some stuff off my chest. That was the point of this thread.

    As for the curfew thing, I would understand the 10 o'clock if it was a regular thing. It was developed to inhibit her independance from her parents though. She needs to start getting some freedom and learning to do things on her own. She goes to school in the morning and works til late at night. They want her going to school, work, and home. Nothing else.

    She wants to have a life. She doesn't even have time to go see her friends (not just me) because of this rule. Most of the people we know are late night people.

    Actually, because her mom has been short on money I have been paying for her school, clothes, and food. Just not shelter. And when they were moving and she had nowhere to stay, I also provided her shelter. Just thought I'd add that.
     

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