Disorders and Steriotypes

[motherbrainrulez]

i think it would cos if im dead wheres the problem
btw this is pretty upsettin for me

 

[kiraownsurmom]

im kinda half a loner since somethimes i feel rly alone like i want 2 b an sometimes i want 2 hang wit ppl

 

[kiraownsurmom]

i think its kinda sad wen ppl do that cause they miss out on things like marriage and things like that.


togetherness

 

[~Marisa~]

It might sound immature, but some of the people from highschool who caused me pain I still see now, even though I'm officially on good terms with them, I still harbour deep-set bitterness towards them.

I don't think that sounds immature at all. My mom had horrible experiences in school as a child and still at the age of 43 is scared of teenagers.

Owch, parents as psychologists would have been nasty; I think torture would be a suitable adjective as I can only begin to imagine what kind of mind games they would have tried with you... Argh that would drive me insane!

Things weren't particularly fun when I was a child either, if that's any consolation. My dad was very violent and would use it as a means of discipline (where he comes from it was commonplace to beat your children) and mum was powerless to do anything about it.

My brother, older by five years, took all his agression out on me, he was failing highschool, getting into gangs and basically being juvenile white trash, and I was pretty much his personal punching bag. He also threatened to kill me once, I couldn't sleep for nights because I was afraid he would kill me in my sleep.

Yeah, it wasn't always the easiest having psych parents. My dad wasn't the nicest guy in the world, to put it litely, and my mom was exactly the same as yours, always turning a cheek at our pain because it was her way of dealing with hers. Sad to hear about your older brother, I have two older siblings as well and a younger one, growing up, we were horrible to eachother because we were all hurting from my dad, so we took it out on eachother. Luckily, in the end, we're all closer than we'd ever imagined.

I would've gone to a psychologist to help me fix my issues but as you can see, I'm traumatized from the thought of being "analized" since it's all I've ever had.

I suppose, that's why I became so attached to videogames; they never rejected me, they always welcomed me, they never hated me or treated me badly. Also around this time is when I left primary school in the second grade, because my teacher was a nasty ***** who made fun of my name, thus pretty much our whole year started doing the same (my real name's Timur, pronounced Tim-uhr [you have to sorta roll the 'r' with an emphasis on the 'u'] it's an Eastern European- Russian/Turkish name, but people just call me Tim), as she would intentionally never pronounce it correctly, she wouldn't listen to me when I'd try correct her.

At least videogames never judge you, they never treat you unfairly or in a biased manner because you have a different name, they're always there when you need them. I never had many friends back then... Even now, I could say I have alot of friends, but it just does not feel like it... I'm still in the mentality of not having friends and it kills me because people keep asking me to catch up and still for some reason I believe they hate me or something...

I couldn't agree more. Video games are always there. Always the happy games to cheer you up and nobody there to judge and belittle you. Most people don't understand us gamers, but we never expect them to. There is undoubtedly something magical and emotional about gaming.
Damn I must sound like such a headcase... I guess I just find things like that hard to let go.

About the teacher issue, I totally feel for you!!! Growing up in Florida, I had phsyically and emotionally abusive teachers - it was miserable!!! School and education during grade years isn't just the "bullies" because I've known and heard of tons of evil teachers. Sickening.

I hope this doesn't sound too attention seeking or anything, but it helps to get it all out like that.

Anyone who has emotions here I gaurantee won't believe you're "attention seeking", we're all just human beings and we all need to feel a connection in one way or another. Like the guy said above, it takes guts.


How karmic, what goes around comes around eh? I guess it only goes to show he was a dick to begin with and nothing's changed, only now he can't get away with it.

Hang in there dude, no matter what happens you've always got a place here.[/QUOTE]

 

[kiraownsurmom]

wat she said

 

[motherbrainrulez]

i can imagine the headlines "14 year old boy commits suicide"
lol thta would make my mum cry haha

 

[kiraownsurmom]

do u randomly get angry? like angry thoughts fill ur mind?

 

[~Marisa~]

i think it would cos if im dead wheres the problem
btw this is pretty upsettin for me

I know it feels like **** now, but things will get better. I've been where you are and at the moment, nothing would change my mind...so I know telling you this might not help, but I think your life is worth the try. Things get better, they really do. Sometimes if you can't think of big reasons to live, it helps to think of the little pleasures of life. Kittens, flowers, warm sunshine, hot cocoa on a snowy day, beautiful music, butterflies...all the little things in life that make life worth living.

 

[kiraownsurmom]

i can imagine the headlines "14 year old boy commits suicide"
lol thta would make my mum cry haha

no offence but thats kinda sick

 

[motherbrainrulez]

hey the amount of **** shes put me through she deserves it
i have nothing to live for anyway the girl i love isnt interested and yeah its basically really ****

 

[kiraownsurmom]

marisa u cant b a kid if u speak like a psyciatrist lol

 

[~Marisa~]

hey the amount of **** shes put me through she deserves it

Do you wanna talk about it? That's what this thread is for. You can just let it all out, anything you've ever wanted to say

 

[motherbrainrulez]

years of abuse, neglect and stuff like tht

 

[~Marisa~]

marisa u cant b a kid if u speak like a psyciatrist lol

Well, I definantly wouldn't consider myself "psyciatrist" like but I definantly know what he's going through. I don't know if you consider 19 years old a kid, but I classify "kid" depending on someone's wisdom.

 

[kiraownsurmom]

"w8in leads 2 h8in" i no it sounds cheezy but its tru if u bottle ur emotions itll come out all at once and mayb u will commit suicide