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Family Matters

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ~Marisa~, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. ~Marisa~

    ~Marisa~ Ngiyabonga, my friend.

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    Sometimes when I'm around a certain person in my family, I feel hatred, annoyance, and disgust overwhelm me. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to puke and just hearing that person come into the room or wake-up makes me automatically depressed and upset. Hearing that person's voice makes me cringe and I feel as if I want to sew their mouth shut for eternity - Looking at them makes me sick to my stomach.


    At other times when I have peace away from them, I tell myself not to become consumed by hatred - that no matter how much I can't stand them, to have a positive outlook on it because I'm an extremely peaceful, forgiving and I'm very full of love; but then once this person comes around again, an uncontrollable hatred fills me. It's like I'm under some sort of curse. When I'm free of being around them, I'm the happiest person in the world - but once this person is near me, I go and hide somewhere alone and try to drown out the noise of them...



    Does this make me a bad person? Does anyone else experience this?
     
  2. PotatoWedgie

    PotatoWedgie WiiChat Member

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    In the immortal words of Brian from Family Guy: Yes, yes it does make you a bad person. :D

    And to answer your other question, not really...The only person I've ever had those feelings about is my ex, and I'm working on that. I guess I'm not a very hateful person. Sorry :nonod:
     
  3. ~Marisa~

    ~Marisa~ Ngiyabonga, my friend.

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    I'm not a very hateful person either - but this person is the only person in the world who can make me filled with so much anger in a split second :mad2:
     
  4. asdfnick

    asdfnick asdfnick

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    haha you sound like me. I want to punch my relatives in the face sometimes for no reason. other times its because they arnt giving me a turn at the video games!
     
  5. elmo_999

    elmo_999 Wii launch Owner

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    My brother can piss me off!!! But at other times he can be a good friend.
     
  6. Major Tom

    Major Tom Uss Clan *****

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    ...It depends why you hate him.
     
  7. ~Marisa~

    ~Marisa~ Ngiyabonga, my friend.

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    Because he's scum of the Earth and does nothing ever to help anyone and purposely torments people for his sick enjoyment...the list goes on and on...
     
  8. bitchslap

    bitchslap *slap*

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    i dont think it makes you a bad person at all... not everyone has nice family or ppl around them.. in that case bitchslap them dont run away
     
  9. bitchslap

    bitchslap *slap*

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    i dont think it makes you a bad person at all... not everyone has nice family or ppl around them.. in that case bitchslap them dont run away, meaning face your problems head on... by bitchslapping
     
  10. elmo_999

    elmo_999 Wii launch Owner

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    Thats a pretty good reason lol. Maybe he just doesnt understand that hurting other peoples feelings doesn't help himself in any way.
     
  11. ~Marisa~

    ~Marisa~ Ngiyabonga, my friend.

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    He knows it hurts, that's why he does it. He plays mind games with me. I.E. When I was little he stole all my babysitting money and smashed my things looking for it to get drunk so now that I'm older I refuse to buy him beer. My mom does all the work and makes good money and he does nothing and somehow thinks it's "his" money. So he says to me "If you buy me beer, I'll pay for your med school" Because I've talked to him before about being traumatized about buying him beer and he knows how hard I work to try to afford school.

    He has a degree in Psycology and purposely uses his mind tricks to mess people's heads up so he can laugh at them. And anything he did to us as kids "Didn't count" because him and my mom say he couldn't remember, so it wasn't his fault - So apparently all the beatings, torment, name-calling, destroying stuff, and others that I won't mention are supposedly justified. Go figure.
     
  12. Major Tom

    Major Tom Uss Clan *****

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    Wow. He's an ass. I hate him now.
     
  13. Ezekiel86

    Ezekiel86 Chillin in the Mill

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    What sort of a sick-minded creep is this guy?? I mean, it's different if someone doesn't know they're hurting you, because they usually cease and desist upon better knowledge. But doing something with the intent of hurting like that is just disgusting. To answer your question, no I don't believe it makes you a bad person. If you were a bad person, you would be nowhere near as sweet, caring, compassionate and comforting to so many of us as you have been, so I can pretty securely say you're not a bad person at all :)

    Reading your initial post was very intriguing, because I have a friend who felt very similarly towards one of her older family members as you do. She hated him so much she smiled as she watched him die in hospital of lung cancer. I believe your feelings of hatred are justified somehow. As human beings, we aren't inherintly hateful, or even "bad" people, so obviously this guy has really done many things bad to you, and that's something no-one deserves to have done to them as we all have the right to live peacefully and happily (I read a quote of yours about being free to live in happiness as long as that happiness doesn't interfere with another beings state of happiness, it seems fairly relevant here).

    Then again, if this is how he gets his kicks, he isn't going to get very far in life, as people like him obviously lack the sensitivity and compassion which, beng part of basic human decency means he can't have many friends, girls won't be too interested in him, and he's probably so unhappy and miserable he needs someone to take all his anxiety out on. You're better than that. Hopefully he should grow out of it, and care about you as he should. I know those mind games are tough to break through, but if you can gather your strength and stand against him, it'll deal a major blow to his ego and his standing.

    I remember back when I was a kid my older brother was horrible to me... Could probably be classified as torture at times.. I was pretty much his punching bag. He had a hard time in highschool, he was a lousy student, never did enough work, he was getting into drugs, gangs, and everything else at a young age, and he took all his anger out on me.. Once he threatened to kill me with a machete in my sleep because I didn't want him to something he was going to do (I think he and his friends were planning to do a break and enter or something). I couldn't sleep for nights after that. That's something I don't think I'll ever forgive him for.

    Things are different now, he managed to clean himself up, get a job and get back into education, and now he's a respectable Computer Security Engineer at CSC - Computer Sciences Corporation. Still, such an experience was so traumatic and scarring I'll never forget it or forgive him for it.

    I'm not sure how much this has helped you, but I hope something made you feel a bit better.

    There's one thing to remember - Karma never fails. His bad deeds will not go without their retribution, and your good deeds will not go unnoticed.

    Don't ever doubt your good nature; you're a unique and beautiful person, no one can ever take that away from you.
     
  14. Liger_zero9999

    Liger_zero9999 JP Photobook Expert

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    hey marisa, what do you think karma is for ? :thumbsup: what goes around comes around.
     
  15. freakpizzaboy

    freakpizzaboy Aliens Exist

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    TL;DR



    but im sure you made some good points


    anyways, how old are you? are you almost old enough to move out?
     
  16. ottoman

    ottoman Banned

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    That is really chilling...i mean thats something you would see on the back of a horror movie case. im sorry but i think that unless your family has done something terrible to deserve it, your in the wrong.

    P.s: this isnt meant to sound mean, but i just looked throuh and it could be interpreted that way. it wasnt supposed to be lol, its just my genral thought.
     
  17. ~Marisa~

    ~Marisa~ Ngiyabonga, my friend.

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    Yes, that actually did make me feel tons better. It's not my brother that does it, it's my father. It's hard for me to feel those emotions because I try to love everyone as much as I can. I mean, since I was 7 my life's goal has been to join the Peace Corp through college, get my M.D. so I can be an E.R. doctor and then move to Africa to help the less fortunate. Growing up, I was constantly told I couldn't achieve my dreams. I love the African culture so I owned tons of African dolls and barbies as a child. To spite me, when I came home from school, my dad would hang the dolls off the stair case railing with a rope around it's neck or shoot my barbie's faces off. I'd cry for days.


    And to answer someone else's question - I'm 19 and moving out with my sister in a few months. I already moved out once when I was 17 but had to move back because my sister went through a mental break-down >.< (Crap, I just spilt Dr.Pepper ALLLL over my keyboard lol) Anyways...I feel like a complainer and one of those people that "won't let the past go" but I just can't help but feel that way when I'm around him. I try with all my heart to fight against feeling bitter but it's like it almost comes as second instinct.

    I mean, my brother and I were always close growing up and my father knew that...so if I did something to upset my dad he'd force my brother to stab me in the stomach or knee with a pencil and if my brother didn't, he'd get whipped with the belt. I always told my brother to do it, though because I'd rather get hurt than him. - It's memories like that which come flooding back to me when I'm near my father. I guess things just never got settled because I've heard my parents talking in secrecy before and I've heard my dad say he doesn't think he was all that bad and that we all blow it out of proportion.


    I guess the best thing for me to do is move out - Live my life, love my boyfriend, become a doctor and raise my children as I never got to get raised. I honestly don't know if I want my dad to have a part in my future-family, though.
     
  18. Sovieto

    Sovieto Banned

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    i feel the same way too, id rather not be around my family than be

    p.s. dont let your father be part of your future family, he dosent deserve to be
     
    #18 Sovieto, Feb 11, 2007
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2007
  19. Minto

    Minto You're kidding, right?

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    i would just boot him in the balls :D
     
  20. freakpizzaboy

    freakpizzaboy Aliens Exist

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    orly?



    stfu


    AND GTFO u immature piece of fecies
     

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