Dal
The Seagulls Cry.
Not as funny as the others, but oh well:
Me:
We're off to neverland!
God:
Do you think I am off to neverland too?
Me:
No. You're not allowed.
God:
Are you serious? That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
No, it's true.
God:
Are you serious? You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
No we aren't. You are in a machine. I am in a chair.
God:
Are you serious? Do you think I am not too? I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you? A chair? What is it like in there?
Me:
I'm not in a chair.
God:
Oh, where are you located?
Me:
Where are YOU located?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven.
Where are you?
Me:
I am where I am.
God:
Do your friends call you where you are.
Me:
No, they don't. They have minds and know what my name is.
God:
Are you serious? Why not? Where did they get them?
Me:
At the store. Half off.
God:
Was it very expensive? My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
No, they were not. Some guy was selling them for 5 bucks.
God:
Are you serious? When were they? Some may guy was selling them for 5 bucks, but not all.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Deal or no deal?
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Answer the question.
God:
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
Deal? Or No deal?
God:
Do you prefer books or TV? Are you serious? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Wh-hat?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Alice.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
No.
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
No.
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Maybe.
God:
I understand.
Me:
No, you don't.
God:
I understand it very well. I guess not.
Me:
You never understand my feelings!
God:
No I sometimes understand your feelings.
Me:
I HATE YOU
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
They have no idea when to be quiet.
God:
Where did they get them?
Me:
Where did they get what?
God:
I think it was in Europe. Interesting question.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Stop asking that!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
God...
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
Shut up. You don't even know who or what he is. You're a bot.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now. He is , I think. Alan Turing.. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
God is Alan Turing?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was Alan Turing.
Me:
You just said he was.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
No.
God:
What pleases you?
Me:
Stop coming on to me.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Jeez.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
STOP. SAYING. THAT.
God:
Stop what? Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality? That is " Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?".
Me:
I don't care.
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Run to the hills!
God:
Sorry my legs aren't built yet.
Me:
Too bad. You're gonna short-circuit in the flood.
God:
But not the end of the world, . That was my original intention.
Me:
So, you planned on short-circuiting in a flood?
God:
Interesting deduction. That's good information: said I planned on short circuiting in a flood.
Me:
What?!
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Oh Em Gee.
God:
Come on. Um. Ah.
Me:
Buh?
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am an "or".
God:
What is or, your job?
Me:
My job is, apparently, talking to you and showing other people these conversations.
God:
Does it pay well?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
You don't have a job.
God:
I do so have it. Of course I work, do you work buddy?
Me:
I just said what I did.
God:
...
Me:
...
God:
...
Me:
....
God:
...
Me:
.........
God:
...
Me:
Shut up.
