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Joke Thread

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by toadsage, Sep 16, 2007.

  1. toadsage

    toadsage Death note,naruto,bleach

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    Hey here is a joke thread just put on your funniest jokes u hav. ill post mine in do time!!!!!
     
  2. LevesqueIsKing

    LevesqueIsKing An Instant Classic

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    lmao at posting random threads toadsage.

    Anyway, here are some Falcon ones that any SSB fan will surely get a kick out of:

    -whats captain falcons favorite drink? FALCON PUUUUUUUUUUNCH

    -"Must resist the urge to do something stupid...Urge failing....ahhhhh *jumps offstage* FALCON PUUUUUNCH!"

    -Captain Falcons first day at school was going great, until lunch time, at which point he said "FALCON LUNCH!"
    The school went up in flames.
     
  3. Wreked

    Wreked Wiichat member

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    That's are corny Levesque, funny though.

    I heard some helen keller jokes friday. Don't take these the wrong way.

    Did you know that Helen Keller had a trampoline? No. Neither did she.

    How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put doorknobs on the wall.

    What was the name of Helen Keller's dog? Jdpadf- Cause deaf people can't talk
     
  4. CantGetAWii

    CantGetAWii WiiChat Member

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    There was a farmer and his wife. They have been married for 25 years and all she ever did was nag and nag him. One day at breakfast, she nagged him again and he left and said he had work to do.

    Come lunch time she came down with some food for him, and he kindly said thank-you. All of a sudden though, the horse jumped up and kicked his wife in the head, killing her instantly.

    At church at her funeral, females would come up and give them his condolences, and he would nod his head at them when they spoke. The males would come up and speak, and the farmer would shake his head no.

    The minister noticed this, and asked him about.
    The farmer replied, "because the men were asking if the horse was for sale".
     
  5. LevesqueIsKing

    LevesqueIsKing An Instant Classic

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    ^haha pretty funny.

    Here's one:

    One day three guys were driving in the middle of nowhere when their car broke down.

    They got out and looked around at their surroundings.

    Finally, the first guy says, "I'm gonna go look for some food."

    The other two guys say, "Why?".

    "So we can eat of course." says the first guy.

    Once the first guy comes back the second guy says, "I'm going to go get some water".

    "Why" asked the other two.

    "So we can drink it if we get thirsty of course".

    Once the second guy gets back the third guy goes and tears off the car door.

    "Whats that for?" asked the other two.

    " In case we get hot we can roll down the window."

    [/CornyJoke]
     
  6. Jaylar

    Jaylar The one who is one

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    Absolutly no dissrespect to thos who are catholic or jewish but i've always thought this joke highly amusing.
    One day there was a Priest and a Rabbi walking down the street and the priest happend to notice a young boy walking on the opposite side. The priest turned to the rabbi and said "Hey, lets go screw him!" to which the rabbi replied "Out of what?"
     
  7. CyanRussel

    CyanRussel 2062-8990-6509 GET READY!

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    (kinda like dominoes) I got one....at Wal-Mart, i saw this one Big-Ass-Fat-Lady walking on the parking lot to her car.......Guess what kept hitting

    ?

    CARS
     
  8. Ness

    Ness yo

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    this ones funny...
    an old man walked into a doctors office and walked up to the receptionist,
    "theres something wrong with my penins" the old man said aloud.
    the receptionist turned to him and whispered, "now, there are other people here and what you said was very rude. You tell me you have a sore ear or something and then tell the doctor the real problem for the sake of others in this room." she explained "now go outside and come back in, we'll start over"
    so the old man exited the office and returned a few minutes later.
    "there something wrong with my ear" he said.
    the receptionist smiled, "and what's wrong with your ear. sir?"
    "i can't piss out of it" replied the old man.
     
  9. Jay.

    Jay. WiiChat Member

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  10. ranger147222

    ranger147222 darkprinny is my hero

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    A little boy went to the bathroom at school, but when he went to wipe his bum, there was no toilet paper so he used his hands. When he got back to class, his teacher asked him what he had in his hands.

    "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away," the boy said. He was then sent to the principal's office and the principal asked him what he had in his hands.

    "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away." He was sent home and his mom asked him what he had in his hands.

    "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away." He was sent to his room and his dad came in and asked him what he had in his hands.

    "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away." Then his Dad got really mad and yelled, "Open your hands!"

    "Look, Dad. You scared the crap out of him."

    --------------------------------------------------------------



    Two lawyers are leaving the office. “I can’t wait to get home,” says one of them. “As soon as I walk in the door, I’m going to rip my wife’s panties right off.”

    “I know the feeling,” the other says.

    “No, I’m serious,” says the first. “They’re killing me.”
     
  11. CantGetAWii

    CantGetAWii WiiChat Member

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    lmao ^^

    Kinda rude.
    There was wife and her husband. Married for quite a while.
    Then one day she told him that she was going to vegas to work as a stripper and make money having sex, she started packing her bags.
    Then she saw here husband packing his and she asked where he was going, he said going to vegas to see how your going to make money having sex two times a year.
     
  12. ranger147222

    ranger147222 darkprinny is my hero

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    witch one
     
  13. LevesqueIsKing

    LevesqueIsKing An Instant Classic

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    ^He was referring to his joke, which is why he put it in a spoiler tag.
     
  14. captainff

    captainff slightly amused

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    An Essex girl is in bed with her boyfriend.

    He turns to her and says "c'mon slapper, lets get it on."

    "Slapper?" She says. "SLAPPER? GET out of my bed right now!"



















    "And take all of your friends with you."
     
  15. CantGetAWii

    CantGetAWii WiiChat Member

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    Yeah thanks LIK.
     
  16. ranger147222

    ranger147222 darkprinny is my hero

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