Jokes Thread!! @%$&*#~@
- Thread starter MetroidZ
- Start date
ive got some insults that you could say in a conversation about someone you really hate.
(this substitute name for these insults will be Milo, no offense to anyone who has that name)
Ive highlighted and spaced them so they are easier to read
here we go,
Milo's so ugly, that when he smiled at the police he got arrested for indecent exposure
I've seen people like Milo before, but I had to pay admission"
Milo's so slow that he'd have to speed up to stop
Milo's teeth are so yellow that when he closes his mouth his eyes light up
Milo's so dumb, he threw a rock at the ground, and missed
Milo's so hairy bigfoot takes pictures of him.
Milo couldn't find water if he was washing his hands, fell out of a boat, or taking a bath
Milo's a miracle of nature; he has an IQ of 2 and he's still able to speak
Milo is so ugly he looked out the window and got arrested for mooning
Milo is so stupid he got hit by a parked car
Milo is so skinny, he could hang glide on a Doritos
Milo's so stupid, he'd trip over a cordless phone
Milo's so old, he'd fart dust.
Milo's so stupid he couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions
were written on the bottom of the heel
Milo doesn't need to use an insult, he just uses his breath
Milo's incompetence is an inspiration to morons everywhere.
I hope Milo's face ends up on a milk carton.
If I had a brother like Milo, I'd put myself up for adoption
I guess Milo proves that even god makes mistakes sometimes
If my dog had a face like Milo I'd shave his butt and walk him backwards.
When Milo was born the doctor slapped his mother
Milo's so ugly that when he was born the doctor turned him over and said
look twins
I'd smack the crap out of Milo if I didn't think it would fill up the room
Milo's house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, & a cockroach stole my wallet
Milo's face is so ugly it would make a train take a dirt road
Milo couldn't find his BUTT if both his hands were tied behind his back
Milo's so fat, on a daily basis he get 3 heart attacks
That isn't your forehead, it's your hair trying to run away from your face !!
Milo is so short and hairy, when he walks around the house his mother
screams, MOUSE!
Milo's breath is so stinky that people look forward to his farts
Milo's so dumb he thinks Martial Arts are paintings by the sheriff.
Milo fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down
Learn from Milo's parents mistake, use birth control
When Milo was born, his mother was charged for littering
Milo's so dumb he thinks "getting lucky" is finding a penny on the ground.
Milo proves that man can live without brains.
Milo's so dense that light bends around him.
If I killed all the people that hated you it wouldn't be murder it would be genocide
Go stand in the corner, practice falling over and I'll be there in a second
there good jokes arent they?:lol: :lol:
(this substitute name for these insults will be Milo, no offense to anyone who has that name)
Ive highlighted and spaced them so they are easier to read
here we go,
Milo's so ugly, that when he smiled at the police he got arrested for indecent exposure
I've seen people like Milo before, but I had to pay admission"
Milo's so slow that he'd have to speed up to stop
Milo's teeth are so yellow that when he closes his mouth his eyes light up
Milo's so dumb, he threw a rock at the ground, and missed
Milo's so hairy bigfoot takes pictures of him.
Milo couldn't find water if he was washing his hands, fell out of a boat, or taking a bath
Milo's a miracle of nature; he has an IQ of 2 and he's still able to speak
Milo is so ugly he looked out the window and got arrested for mooning
Milo is so stupid he got hit by a parked car
Milo is so skinny, he could hang glide on a Doritos
Milo's so stupid, he'd trip over a cordless phone
Milo's so old, he'd fart dust.
Milo's so stupid he couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions
were written on the bottom of the heel
Milo doesn't need to use an insult, he just uses his breath
Milo's incompetence is an inspiration to morons everywhere.
I hope Milo's face ends up on a milk carton.
If I had a brother like Milo, I'd put myself up for adoption
I guess Milo proves that even god makes mistakes sometimes
If my dog had a face like Milo I'd shave his butt and walk him backwards.
When Milo was born the doctor slapped his mother
Milo's so ugly that when he was born the doctor turned him over and said
look twins
I'd smack the crap out of Milo if I didn't think it would fill up the room
Milo's house is so nasty, I tripped over a rat, & a cockroach stole my wallet
Milo's face is so ugly it would make a train take a dirt road
Milo couldn't find his BUTT if both his hands were tied behind his back
Milo's so fat, on a daily basis he get 3 heart attacks
That isn't your forehead, it's your hair trying to run away from your face !!
Milo is so short and hairy, when he walks around the house his mother
screams, MOUSE!
Milo's breath is so stinky that people look forward to his farts
Milo's so dumb he thinks Martial Arts are paintings by the sheriff.
Milo fell out of the Stupid Tree and hit every branch on the way down
Learn from Milo's parents mistake, use birth control
When Milo was born, his mother was charged for littering
Milo's so dumb he thinks "getting lucky" is finding a penny on the ground.
Milo proves that man can live without brains.
Milo's so dense that light bends around him.
If I killed all the people that hated you it wouldn't be murder it would be genocide
Go stand in the corner, practice falling over and I'll be there in a second
there good jokes arent they?:lol: :lol:
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ive gotten some more jokes: (warning sincere launguage)
Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some f*n’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more f*n’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the f*n’ French toast."
Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some f*n’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more f*n’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the f*n’ French toast."
more
A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: "He had a hat!"
this ones tight,
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."
more again,
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here
hmph, my sixth post in a row? oh well i might as well continue posting for the viewers and guests.
this is natures way of telling you its a bad day
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/fn.jpg
another one, is the P.M blind ?
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/fn-1.jpg
this cat is cute
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/cat.jpg
this is natures way of telling you its a bad day
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/fn.jpg
another one, is the P.M blind ?
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/fn-1.jpg
this cat is cute
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/cat.jpg
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here are some toons i found on the net
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/DesertStreak.jpg
extra attention is best when required
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/housewife.jpg
men are lucky
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/DesertStreak.jpg
extra attention is best when required
http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n76/Diomedes_03/housewife.jpg
men are lucky
m7ticalm
WiiChat Member
3 people were captured by some baddies, they all were facing a firing squad individualy, when person number 1 went up for the firing squad he yelled "Tsunami" the baddies turned around and person number 1 ran away. When person number 2 went up he yelled "Tornado!" the baddies turned around and once again their captives escaped, when person number 3 went up they yelled "FIRE" so the baddies did wat they were told and "fired" at person number 3.
Yep, i no its lame. But its clean? give me some credit
Yep, i no its lame. But its clean? give me some credit
These 2 blokes walk into a pub
wait 3 blokes
no it was 5 or 6
sod it a football team
OK 2 teams
the population of the island of man go into a pub
no it was the whole of London gos into a pub
OK the whole of the UK go into a pub
Europe go into a pub (not the band)
Every bloke in the world go into a pub first bloke says "my round"
I loled
wait 3 blokes
no it was 5 or 6
sod it a football team
OK 2 teams
the population of the island of man go into a pub
no it was the whole of London gos into a pub
OK the whole of the UK go into a pub
Europe go into a pub (not the band)
Every bloke in the world go into a pub first bloke says "my round"
I loled
nintendo lover
WiiChat Member
there are three persons who found a genies lamp. When they rubbed it a genie comes out and it will make a wish to each one. the first one wishes to have a lot of money and the genie concided his wich. the second one wished that he was even richer and the genie concided his wich. And when the third one said "I wish" and at that moment he fell and said **** and he was turned into ****.:lol: :lol:
I know its bad
I know its bad
ok ive got a good one here so here it goes
A redhead, a brunet and a dumb blonde walk into a gypsies caravan and they see a mirror
it says up the top "SAY A STATEMENT INTO THE MIRROR FOR GREAT FORTUNE"
they couldn't resist fortune so they each said something
the redhead goes first and says "I think i have the reddest hair in the world" *SLURP* it sucks her up but brunet thought that it would suck her up if she told a lie so she went up and said "I think i am the most beautiful girl in the whole world" *SLURP!* it sucks her up but the dumb blonde doesn'tnotice so she goes up and says
"I think-" *SLURP!* it sucks her up
LMFAO!!
A redhead, a brunet and a dumb blonde walk into a gypsies caravan and they see a mirror
it says up the top "SAY A STATEMENT INTO THE MIRROR FOR GREAT FORTUNE"
they couldn't resist fortune so they each said something
the redhead goes first and says "I think i have the reddest hair in the world" *SLURP* it sucks her up but brunet thought that it would suck her up if she told a lie so she went up and said "I think i am the most beautiful girl in the whole world" *SLURP!* it sucks her up but the dumb blonde doesn'tnotice so she goes up and says
"I think-" *SLURP!* it sucks her up
LMFAO!!
