Lol hey just though id start a joke thread, try keep it PG13 we have kiddies here! The wife says: I want new curtains. The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper! The wife says: I need wedding shoes. The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white. The wife says: Hang the picture there The wife means: No, I mean hang it there! The wife says: I heard a noise The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep. The wife says: Do you love me? The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive. The wife says: How much do you love me? The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like. The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute. The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap. The wife says: Am I fat? The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful. The wife says: You have to learn to communicate. The wife means: Just agree with me. ...man who run in front of car get tired. ..man who run behind car get exhausted. ..war doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left. ..man who drive like hell bound to get there. ..man who stand on toilet is high on pot. ..crowded elevator smells different to midget.