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The only thing I do not like about xbox live is that I've played some 8 year olds in gears of war and it is M rated and they are cursing and screaming over the headset. It kills the gameplay completely
The PS3 has free online and it is much better than what the Wii has. It doesn't touch Live, but it is still pretty good.
I've heard the PS3 is great online, but I don't have one yet (nor any plans to buy one) so I wouldn't know. If it's got most of the features of Xbox Live then I'd imagine it should be fine though. I think Nintendo are missing out on a big market by ignoring online gaming.
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Regarding friend codes: I do not add newcomers to Wiichat.
Maybe I'm thinking of Metroid? I know there was one of them that they wouldn't comment on if it was going to have online or not.
an interview during e306 said he will have it online, but with no mention of it since it makes you wonder, i think its safer to say its not confirmed because nintendo hasnt released a public statement about it, as far as im aware.
Xbox Live is sooo much fun, the online experience makes owning the Xbox Console twice as fun! Some games I would especially recommend looking into for online play are: Halo2, Gears of War, Racing games (Dirt, PGR's, etc.)
Add me if you would like, my gamertag is in my sig