SD_BIGSHOT
SD sniper team commander
post your funniest you have it can any kind from blonde jokes to yo mama jokes just any kid of joke
have fun
have funpost your funniest joke you have:D
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SD_BIGSHOT
SD sniper team commander
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HAHA PRETTY FUNNY DUDE! but i got one to you rate it. ok threeguys die and there at the gates of heaven God asked the first man "How loyal were you to your wife?" the guy answers "I cheated on her a few times" ok so God gives him a little compact car and drives into Heaven. God asked the second guy the same question and he replies "Only once." So God gives him a good midsize car and the man drives into Heaven. Finally God asked the third man and the guy says "I was very loyal to my wife and never cheated on her" So God gives him a nice luxury car and he goes into Heaven. A few months later the man with the luxury car is sitting in a parking lot sobbing his eyes out and one of his friends asked whats wrong? and he says "Well i was going down the road and i saw my wife riding a bike!!"
IDECLAREWAR
addicted to facebook.
hahaha! xD ^
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SD_BIGSHOT
SD sniper team commander
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HAHA i heard before and jusr remembered it xD
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and m*st**bated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and m*st**bated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
OP
SD_BIGSHOT
SD sniper team commander
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Did you get that joke from Ron White? :lol:
IDECLAREWAR
addicted to facebook.
who called you that!?...
its quite rude..
its quite rude..
Bigshot didn't call me it directly, but I firmly told him, I ain't interested.....lol
Anyway...........
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two
finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate. The other
finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M. The rules of the
contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute
or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke
graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he
jumped up and recited the following poem:
------------------------------
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination-Timbuktu.
------------------------------
The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?!
The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in
the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
------------------------------
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three girls in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu.
Anyway...........
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two
finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate. The other
finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M. The rules of the
contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute
or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke
graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he
jumped up and recited the following poem:
------------------------------
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination-Timbuktu.
------------------------------
The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?!
The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in
the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
------------------------------
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three girls in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu.
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IDECLAREWAR
addicted to facebook.
heres a joke for ya...
womens rights. xD
and bigshots gay?! :yikes:
womens rights. xD
and bigshots gay?! :yikes:
IDECLAREWAR
addicted to facebook.
i am very sexist. =3
heres another...
chuck norris doesnt breathe...
he just holds air hostage. xD
heres another...
chuck norris doesnt breathe...
he just holds air hostage. xD
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SD_BIGSHOT
SD sniper team commander
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wow that was not true
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Hehehe poor guy.
A three-foot midget walks into a bar and slips over on a pile of s**t. Minutes later a huge tough guy walks into the bar and slips over on the pile of s**t, the midget says to the big guy,
"I just did that", and the big guy punches the midgets lights out.
A three-foot midget walks into a bar and slips over on a pile of s**t. Minutes later a huge tough guy walks into the bar and slips over on the pile of s**t, the midget says to the big guy,
"I just did that", and the big guy punches the midgets lights out.
