A good friend, is taking the bad path.

[Attacktix]

i have this friend, we were best friends for 3 grades. and now that im in middle school, he's been getting in trouble and hanging out with bad people. He doesnt do his work, and he does alot of bad stuff. What should i do? i dont want him to turn into a jail bird or something. He's still my friend, but barely. Any advice?

 

[NS_Tr4mpld]

You are in middle school... All sorts of people go crazy in middle school, I was one of them. You can't do much, hormones are nothing you can control and if you step in it will do nothing.

I went from straight A student to straight F's in middle school, the only reason I passed is because I flew through all the proficiency tests. I started smoking and toking all in 7th grade and settled down after 10th grade. No one could stop me and if your friend is down that path why not just stay his friend and not talk about it. Don't be a downer, just don't support it, and hope he comes out of it. Don't get into the mix yourself though.

 

[surfinrach90]

Just tell him how you feel about him being like this, all you can do really.

When I went up to the comprehensive I rebelled a bit, and I settled down eventually, it's just like a phase really.

 

[The_Mitch]

i wouldnt count on it him going back to the way he was. i lost my best friend since kindergarden when i got to middle school. now he does drugs and smashes up peoples cars and before he wouldnt even watch the movie Titanic because his mom said not too... middle school is usually where you find out your true friends. just stick with the people who you still hang out with.

 

[KrisKhaos]

i have this friend, we were best friends for 3 grades. and now that im in middle school, he's been getting in trouble and hanging out with bad people. He doesnt do his work, and he does alot of bad stuff. What should i do? i dont want him to turn into a jail bird or something. He's still my friend, but barely. Any advice?

How much do you know about his life at home? While NS_Tr4mpld is right about the changes of the body during this period, but children to whom act out as you describe often have addition stress that is aiding these negative feelings. Your friend could be having trouble dealing with a split family, a loss of a loved one, or even much worse - abuse.

My advice is to attempt to befriend him once more or even get to the root of the issue as much as possible. I assume something is troubling him and in turn acting out because of it, and is acting out as a means to cope with his feelings. If this friend refuses to spend the time with you, and you cannot allow this to continue, I suggest you talking with your own parents to see what can be done.

Depending on the severity of the trouble your friend is causing, it is better that he is upset with you now then to pay the consequences for it later, however keep in mind this is a last resort option, as once you upset him you loose any ability to assist as well. Also be very careful, because the wrong move could push him even farther down the wrong road, and is why I suggest speaking with an adult on what exactly could be done. At this point in time amending your friendship would be my personal first move and attempt to slowly find out what is going on as well as offer an alternative to getting into trouble.

(Note: Don't start preaching about what he is doing wrong as "wrong", I'm sure he's been getting those lectures already and won't help to here it again from you. I wouldn't approve of either, however a neutral approach to his negative actions or simply stating you prefer otherwise and leaving it would be more than enough. You want allow him to communicate freely and not feel as if he is to be punished for it. Again, encourage alternative action and avoid lectures. Speak with your parents or even the school counselor on advice on how to best help your friend out, it could be a very delicate situation depending on the individual.)

 

[WiiWouldLike2Play]

Remember, you can't change anyones decisions in life. So, I'd say.. you move on. Nothing you could really do about it. You can't tell him who to hang out with, or not. (..and you probably already know that).

 

[daviduk200]

I had a friend he was my best friend and we were best friends since

Primary 3 (which is when you are 7)

anyway, when we were in high school around 14 ish, he began to smoke and drink and now is smoking weed, i still speak to him every now and then but we slowly drifted away from being best mates. nature is stronger than nurture, my point no matter what you do, people will be themselves, you can sometimes, Delay things like this and sometimes even compress this sort of behavour.

and sometimes they may just phase out of this thing,

but if they are naturally going to be bad theres nothing you can do

 

[Attacktix]

How much do you know about his life at home? While NS_Tr4mpld is right about the changes of the body during this period, but children to whom act out as you describe often have addition stress that is aiding these negative feelings. Your friend could be having trouble dealing with a split family, a loss of a loved one, or even much worse - abuse.

My advice is to attempt to befriend him once more or even get to the root of the issue as much as possible. I assume something is troubling him and in turn acting out because of it, and is acting out as a means to cope with his feelings. If this friend refuses to spend the time with you, and you cannot allow this to continue, I suggest you talking with your own parents to see what can be done.

Depending on the severity of the trouble your friend is causing, it is better that he is upset with you now then to pay the consequences for it later, however keep in mind this is a last resort option, as once you upset him you loose any ability to assist as well. Also be very careful, because the wrong move could push him even farther down the wrong road, and is why I suggest speaking with an adult on what exactly could be done. At this point in time amending your friendship would be my personal first move and attempt to slowly find out what is going on as well as offer an alternative to getting into trouble.

(Note: Don't start preaching about what he is doing wrong as "wrong", I'm sure he's been getting those lectures already and won't help to here it again from you. I wouldn't approve of either, however a neutral approach to his negative actions or simply stating you prefer otherwise and leaving it would be more than enough. You want allow him to communicate freely and not feel as if he is to be punished for it. Again, encourage alternative action and avoid lectures. Speak with your parents or even the school counselor on advice on how to best help your friend out, it could be a very delicate situation depending on the individual.)

well, his mom died, when he was 6...

 

[Frogger]

My best friend was exactly like this, except, she's still my best friend.

I'd been her friend ever since we were about five but we went to different primary schools so I didn't speak to her much, they were those friends. She lived close to them and quite far from me, so I only spoke to her occasionally. Then we went to the same secondary school and were best friends.

She's freaking hilarious but she started smoking at the age of 9, her mother is a smoker so she's been exposed to it, it only took her other friends to supply it all. Hm, her mum's divorced but, I don't have a dad either so I don't think homelife triggered it, we're both pretty happy.

Then she started drugs and that, and she still takes them. She seems happy with what she does and I've tried to stop her, she hangs around all the wrong people at home and lives in a bad area. So do I, but I didn't play I when I was little (yeah, I was one of those kids ) She takes almost anything, but is petrified of needles. I point out all the dangers to her and frequently mention it, but she's just being her; stubborn with no will power.

Maybe that's how your friend just likes to be, I know, it saddens me that they're stunting their life spans and could really get themself into harm but it's the way people choose to live their life. You can tell them all they want, but some of them just don't listen. Perhaps mention everyone who cares for them, but, hell, I can't control what my friend does.

 

[RivalDestiny]

I've seen multiple kids at my high school change. Some smoked and drank, not knowing what the consequences are.

It goes to show one little thing can change your life forever.

 

[laderer5]

just dont start saying some mushy stuff in front of his "new" friends cause then you will be in a pickle with them and him and usually people will go with peer pressure and you will be screwed.

 

[trisyyy]

i have the same problems, i just said "alright, you have been my friend for a long time, but you keep creating myscheif and other bad things, and i'd really like you to stop, and if u dont stop i cant be your freind anymore"

 

[CantGetAWii]

Well I think its too early to be waving the white flag but,
Tell him he will not have much of a future.
Maybe point out a crystal meth using hobo and show him his future.

That worked for me.

 

[trisyyy]

use the mirror from the abovetheinfluence commercial XD :lol:

 

[Dzapper]

Some people will change, I say you just slowly stop talking to him. Because if you continue talking to him and hanging with him you will eventually fall into the same life. Try to distance yourself as far from ignorance as possible.

One of my friends from elementary school changed as well. Grils started to like him, he started getting in trouble and his grades went to hell! I had to stop hanging with him.