Unlikely Super Smash Bros. Brawl Characters

[vashivihan]

Master Chief from Halo

Why He Won't Show up: Simple – he's Bungie's baby. And unless Bungie makes some sort of superstar deal with Nintendo under Microsoft's nose (or at least comes to an agreement over the long-rumored Halo DS port), he's bound to stay in Microsoft's corner.

It's A Shame Because: We'll never see Samus Aran vs. Master Chief.

he Dead Or Alive Girls from Dead or Alive

Why They Won't Show up: They're unbalanced, thanks to their gigantic (and dangerous) boobs that they'd use to smack characters off the playfield. Besides, Princess Peach wouldn't be able to keep up with their hotness.

It's A Shame Because: It's fun watching the DOA girls do anything on-screen – even play volleyball.

Kratos from God of War

Why He Won't Show up: Sony won't license Kratos for any games other than God of War, due to his sheer level of bad-assness and his tendency to go into violent outbursts. Plus he may be too brutal for Nintendo.

It's A Shame Because: He could rip Wario in half.

Altair from Assassin's Creed

Why He Won't Show up: The guy's too slow and calculative with his killing style. Last time we checked, that simply doesn't fit with Brawl's incredibly kinetic fighting shenanigans.

It's A Shame Because: He could've stabbed Luigi in the neck.

Niko Bellic from Grand Theft Auto IV

Why He Won't Show up: He's too realistic and gritty for the Smash Bros. series. Sure, the same might've gone for Solid Snake, if it wasn't for the fact that he likes to scoot around in a cardboard box. Niko is simply too "modern" a guy for Brawl.

It's A Shame Because: He could've run over Mario with a stolen car.

Big Daddy from BioShock

Why He Won't Show up: Big Daddy would be sweet, if only because he could've pummeled someone through walls. Ultimately, though, he won't show up because he teams up with demonic kids – and Nintendo doesn't want anything to do with portraying children as less-than-sweet.

It's A Shame Because: He could've power-drilled Kirby and turned him into pink marshmallow mush.

Conker from Conker's Bad Fur Day

Why He Won't Show up: Nintendo was uncomfortable enough with him starring in Conker's Bad Fur Day on the Nintendo 64. With him and Rare defecting to Microsoft, it's unlikely the company will ask him back. Maybe he urinated on one too many fires.

It's A Shame Because: He could've brought the Great Mighty Poo with him.

Gordon Freeman from Half-Life/The Orange Box

Why He Won't Show up: Seriously, aside from some guns and being able to pick up boxes, what does Freeman have that'll keep him alive in a match? A crowbar? That may last a few hits and then he's done.

It's A Shame Because: That means Alyx won't make the cut either.

Phoenix Wright from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

Why He Won't Show up: Really, what kind of offense does Phoenix Wright have going for him? The power of objection? He could yell "Objection!" and "Take that!" all day and then get flung into the sky. He's better off staying in the courtroom.

It's A Shame Because: He could've sued Donkey Kong for damages.

Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat

Why He Won't Show up: Sub-Zero's fighting style is TOO brutal for Brawl. He knows how to kick some ass, as previously seen in the Mortal Kombat games. With that, though, Nintendo execs would have a fit if he turned Mario into a huge frozen, bloody pile of mush.

It's A Shame Because: His freezing powers would be ideal for stopping Pikachu.

DDR Dancers from Dance Dance Revoltion

Why They Won't Show up: Seriously, all they do is dance. Mario got over his dancing phase and, the last time we checked, no other Nintendo characters are interested in dancing. These guys and their respective dance pads would be history.

It's A Shame Because: They could've made great cheerleaders.

Bubsy from Bubsy

Why He Won't Show up: There could be a number of reasons. He has no offense aside from bopping enemies with his stomach, he lacks general appeal, he has an annoying voice, etc. What it really comes down to, though, is that he didn't do that great in his own games, so he wouldn't make much of a difference in this one.

It's A Shame Because: Well, okay, it's not really a shame. Have you played Bubsy 3D?

funny http://www.gamedaily.com/articles/galleries/unlikely-smash-bros-brawl-characters/184/?page=13

 

[rukus]

what a poor, poor attempt at writing a humorous article.
the guy just tried too hard to be "hard core"

 

[neveragain]

I know:God
jk

 

[thas]

man this stuff sucks.............

 

[SantaClaws]

when I saw that your first person was masterchief I actually said...


NO **** SHERLOCK

 

[Atomheart]

Dick Cheney, Jerry Falwell, or Rush Limbaugh

None of these people will make it into the game, unfortunately. It would have been awesome to smack them around.

 

[Dkw0101]

i think they should put jack thompson in the game, then maybe he'll stop saying video games are bad

 

[ssbb_lover]

3/4 of your characters can be knocked out for one reason, they've never appeared on a Nintendo console. The others that have appeared on a Nintendo console would just be ridiculous for this game.

 

[cookiemonsta11111]

I Smell a Love-in!!!

F- that would be amazing if a game like that existed, i would be in Heaven

 

[Wii....]

:wtf: :wtf: :shocked: :wtf: :O

WHAT KIND OF THREAD IS THIS

WHATS THE POINT OF STATING THE LEAST CHARACTERS THAT WOULD BE IN BRAWL. PLEASE TELL ME..... PLEEAASSEE

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH..........:O :lol:

 

[vashivihan]

:wtf: :wtf: :shocked: :wtf: :O

WHAT KIND OF THREAD IS THIS

WHATS THE POINT OF STATING THE LEAST CHARACTERS THAT WOULD BE IN BRAWL. PLEASE TELL ME..... PLEEAASSEE

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH..........:O :lol:

hey at lest its better than "what are u thinking about" or "what did u buy today" thread.

 

[Mingus]

Dick Cheney, Jerry Falwell, or Rush Limbaugh

None of these people will make it into the game, unfortunately. It would have been awesome to smack them around.

I shall smack you around. Rush Limbaugh would pwn you.... over and over. 4 on 1 would be a bad situation. You take on Rush you'll have to deal with Neil Sean and Mike too.

 

[Smileface]

Pssh
U guys are being too mean
I thought it was pretty funny!
Mostly pointless, but I still thought it was funny
Kinda . . .
But still, your being a bit harsh

 

[Battousai]

I want Kenshin!!!!!!!! oh My If kenshin's on it ill scream Like a 15yr old girl in the mall