The Jokes

[bxym]

What delightful rants.....

 

[BluRayPSP]

Microsoft... XBOX One is the third installment of your system line. Explain to your fans you do know how to count.

Valve explain why you hate Microsoft yet YOU CAN'T COUNT TO THREE YOURSELVES!!! HALF-LIFE 3! PORTAL 3! TEAM FORTRESS 3! AND COUNTER STRIKER 3 EVEN THOUGH I'VE NEVER PLAYED THAT SERIES!!!

 

[WiiAssasin]

http://tinyurl.com/pqqbxzo

 

[BluRayPSP]

http://tinyurl.com/pqqbxzo

Oh, WiiAssassin, you don't know how to count either:

Assassin's Creed
Assassin's Creed II
Assassin's Creed Bloodlines (III)
Assassin's Creed Brotherhood (IV)
Assassin's Creed Revelations (V)
Assassin's Creed III (VI)
Assassin's Creed Liberation (VII)
Assassin's Creed Black Flag (VIII)

 

[DG~X]

What is 6.9?

I really good thing ruined by a damn period.

 

[Splash_King]

 

[KRKanon]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Spoiler

To get to the other side.

The after life.
It's husband left her for another, her eggs were all still born and taken away.
She couldn't take it anymore. She only had one thing she could control.
Her death.

What? Too dark? C'mon, like that period joke didn't cross the line?

 

[Bodine]

I could get into the dead baby jokes I heard while in basic training 3 years ago but nobody wants that.

 

[DG~X]

I live dead baby jokes :lol:

What's the difference between jumping on a trampoline and jumping on a dead baby?


I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline

 

[Bodine]

I live dead baby jokes :lol:

What's the difference between jumping on a trampoline and jumping on a pile of dead babies?


I don't use cleats when I jump on the trampoline.

Fixed

 

[Bodine]

What's the difference between a chicken sandwich and a dead baby?

-I don't f*ck the chicken sandwich before I eat it.

How long does it take for a dead baby to blow up in a microwave?

-I don't know either, I was too busy masturbating to time it.


If anyone needs me, I'll be in hell.

 

[KRKanon]

Came here to laugh. Dafaq happened?
----------------------

Two peanuts were walking in a park.
One was wearing a hoodie and bandana.

Spoiler

The other one was a-salt-ed.

Damn, that was stupid.
Okay, how 'bout...

(I'm sure someone has read it before) The Boy In The Closet:

Spoiler

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work.
One day, her 9-year-old son hides in the closet during one of her acts. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she hides her lover in the closet.

the Boy says, "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it? My dad's outside."
Man - "How much?"
Boy - "$250."
Man - "Fine."

One week later it happens again, the boy and the mom's lover end up in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here. I have a baseball glove."
Man - Remembering last time, reluctantly asks, "How much?"
Boy - "$750."
Man - "Deal."

A few days later...

the Dad says to the Boy, "Let's play catch, go get your baseball and glove."
Boy - "I can't. I sold them."
Dad - "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000."
Dad - "That's way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Priest - "Don't start that crap again, you're in my closet now."

 

[Bodine]

You're witnessing the way the Army life has deteriorated my innocence completely.

 

[KRKanon]

You're witnessing the way the Army life has deteriorated my innocence completely.

I don't know how to respond to that. That's sad, actually.

 

[Bodine]

*bah-dum-tish!*