Can sexuality be changed?

[Napalmbrain]

The bolded part above was to emphasize the fact that the process could just as likely happen to a straight man. I'd be willing to bet that this person you knew, Napalm, had one or more gay friends.

I'm not sure. We both went did physics in Cardiff University, but he lived 20 miles away so I don't know he likes to hang around with, apart from his (ex-)girlfriend and a male friend, who were also on the same course.

 

[Chewy]

But Jesus told me so.

Hurr hurr.

Quit trolling. Go to 4chan if you wanna do that.

 

[AndThen?]

I believe that gay people like that are generally what you call "women trapped in a mans body". Their sex is male but their gender is female. They aren't really trying to act like that, that is just them being themselves.

Nah, that's different... "a woman trapped in a man's body" is how a transgender person would define themselves, whereas the very flamboyant gays we're talking about are comfortably male.

@Tyler, I think the voice can be a result of many things... hanging out with other flamboyant gay guys, hanging out with women, having a naturally nasal voice... etc.

 

[Chewy]

Nah, that's different... "a woman trapped in a man's body" is how a transgender person would define themselves, whereas the very flamboyant gays we're talking about are comfortably male.

I still wouldn't consider a flamboyant gays gender to be masculine. "A woman trapped in a man's body" is probably a bad way to describe it, but I'd definitely consider their gender to be more feminine than masculine since they act feminine and assume feminine roles in relationships.

 

[AndThen?]

I still wouldn't consider a flamboyant gays gender to be masculine. "A woman trapped in a man's body" is probably a bad way to describe it, but I'd definitely consider their gender to be more feminine than masculine since they act feminine and assume feminine roles in relationships.

"...Feminine roles in relationships."


???!?!? This is a pet hate of mine. I hate when a gay couple is mentioned, and someone inevitably goes "So who's the girl in the relationship?" There is no girl. That's the point. Sure, one might be more submissive, more flamboyant, but the idea is that both are male. And you don't have to be macho to be masculine. They're not conflicted, they're happy to be male... so they're not female.

 

[Ekiushi]

Almost every gay person my age (that I knew was gay, I suppose) that I've met have been the stereotype of a gay. Most of them live in either Melbourne or Sydney and hung around the gay cultures down there, so it would have something to do with the crowds they run with. And those that didn't yet live there, they were best friends with girls.

That said, one of my best friends is gay and you wouldn't even know it. They obviously hang with their partner, but I don't think they go beyond that. I imagine just because you're gay it doesn't mean you are going to get into all the culture, live the social life etc. Not everyone is going to be outgoing. Straight people certainly are not. Being gay doesn't automatically give you the social bug. So I'd have to agree with AndThen about the voice.

 

[Sixty]

I'd think that the flamboyance was due to them being confident, mostly. Of course, you can be comfortably gay if you don't let everyone know as soon as you meet them.

 

[navarre]

Just curious... do you know how many of them are regular church-goers?

That is regular church goers.

And those that didn't yet live there, they were best friends with girls

That was the only thing that annoyed me when my best mate turned/discovered/overtly acted gay. He started hanging around with me and my mates less and less and girls more and more. So, we drifted apart. He was a ****ing legend as well. I doubt I'd like him much if I met him today- he's gone too far off the rails (hasn't been to school in a year, smokes heavily, drinks daily at parties, takes drugs at 15), but he was a good mate and we had a good history. A bit like Mongolia- glorious history, but alas, no future.

 

[Chewy]

"...Feminine roles in relationships."

And you don't have to be macho to be masculine. They're not conflicted, they're happy to be male... so they're not female.

OK let me explain myself better. If you wanna look at gender in a black and white way i.e. only male or female, then yes, their gender would be male because they are comfortable being male.

But that's not the way I see it, I think there is more to gender than that. There are feminine males, masculine females, etc...

For example:
A transgendered male (man trapped in woman's body) would have the gender of a feminine female. They act feminine and want to be a woman.

A flamboyant homosexual I would categorize as a feminine male. They naturally act more feminine than masculine but they want to be a man.

This is of course all in theory(gender is really just a theory anyways), so feel free to disagree. But that that is just the way I look at it.

 

[LevesqueIsKing]

"...Feminine roles in relationships."


???!?!? This is a pet hate of mine. I hate when a gay couple is mentioned, and someone inevitably goes "So who's the girl in the relationship?" There is no girl. That's the point. Sure, one might be more submissive, more flamboyant, but the idea is that both are male. And you don't have to be macho to be masculine. They're not conflicted, they're happy to be male... so they're not female.

I understand this frustration and I understand that you're trying to make the point that gay couples are not trying to be straight couples, but I don't know if I'd say that it hasn't affected them at all. I don't think it's a coincidence—or solely due to compatability—that gay couples fairly frequently consist of two people with very different personalities(?). That's not to say that they're trying to be a straight couple, but I think that society may have a subconscious affect on their tastes.

 

[Dorkfish]

Just because you are gay doesn't mean you have to act like the stereotype. Hell, look at the bears. Bunch of freaking lumberjacks

 

[Gikoku Harakami]

Just because you are gay doesn't mean you have to act like the stereotype. Hell, look at the bears. Bunch of freaking lumberjacks

I honestly have no idea. I've known one gay guy who spoke like that, but I've also known gays who didn't. Incidentally, I've also met a straight guy who spoke like that.

My late older cousin who was a classy gentleman would sometimes do the "limp wrist" gesture, but otherwise acted like a regular straight guy. You would never know it unless he was with his boyfriend, or if he told you... great guy.

I have met a few who act like complete stereotypes though.. with the tight short-shorts, and excessive limping of the wrists and talking like they were extremely feminine. But, when you really think about it... that's all it is.. men expressing their inner femininity (which does not make one homosexual) .. much like how you see girls who are referred to as "Tomboys".

 

[Dorkfish]

]

My late older cousin who was a classy gentleman would sometimes do the "limp wrist" gesture, but otherwise acted like a regular straight guy. You would never know it unless he was with his boyfriend, or if he told you... great guy.

I have met a few who act like complete stereotypes though.. with the tight short-shorts, and excessive limping of the wrists and talking like they were extremely feminine. But, when you really think about it... that's all it is.. men expressing their inner femininity (which does not make one homosexual) .. much like how you see girls who are referred to as "Tomboys".

More liek...

But yeah. Most of the gays that I know wouldn't fit the stereotypes at all. Except for my cousin's brother in laws boyfriend. Man he's uber gay. Definitely the "girl" in the relationship. Funny as **** though, at my cousin's wedding he was drunk as **** and started stripping.

 

[AndThen?]

I understand this frustration and I understand that you're trying to make the point that gay couples are not trying to be straight couples, but I don't know if I'd say that it hasn't affected them at all. I don't think it's a coincidence—or solely due to compatability—that gay couples fairly frequently consist of two people with very different personalities(?). That's not to say that they're trying to be a straight couple, but I think that society may have a subconscious affect on their tastes.

I'd just prefer to label them as "dominant" or "submissive", or something like that. There are plenty of labels you can use without having to relate it to a straight relationship. You're right, though.

OK let me explain myself better. If you wanna look at gender in a black and white way i.e. only male or female, then yes, their gender would be male because they are comfortable being male.

But that's not the way I see it, I think there is more to gender than that. There are feminine males, masculine females, etc...

For example:
A transgendered male (man trapped in woman's body) would have the gender of a feminine female. They act feminine and want to be a woman.

A flamboyant homosexual I would categorize as a feminine male. They naturally act more feminine than masculine but they want to be a man.

This is of course all in theory(gender is really just a theory anyways), so feel free to disagree. But that that is just the way I look at it.

Oh, okay. I just figured when you said:

I still wouldn't consider a flamboyant gays gender to be masculine.

that you meant that you'd classify them as female. :S

But I still don't know if I would polarise it like that. I don't believe flamboyance is particularly feminine, just as I don't believe machismo is particularly manly.

 

[Deanis]

But you can see the two lean heavier towards a particular gender, yes?


Some gays seem to act more feminine...but none moreso that the hetereosexuals that were all the rage a few years back. So I hardly see it as a trait of gays to be feminine.

Some are 'softer' in nature, but so are alot of straights...