iGod

[ProShooter]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

He's a lot more smart then "smarter child"

(Don't ask where I got this prinny)


me and God had a nice chat:

Me:
do you have kids god
God:
No I don't think I have any kids god. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
your weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
bad
God:
What was bad?
Me:
you
God:
" What was bad?"? Me, ?
Me:
is watching porn wrong god?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
your not funny
God:
I am not programmed to be a comedy bot

 

[Gikoku Harakami]

Agh, if only I could have a conversation like that with my former Christian God.

 

[Dal]

Oh, oh. I remember this thread. Goood times.

Warning: This is fairly long:

Spoiler

Me:
Hey God.

God:
Hello child. What's your name?

Me:
You already know this.

God:
How do I know you are telling the truth?

Me:
Because you're the "all-knowing being".

God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.

Me:
Well, I don't know anyone else who is.

God:
Well that's okay. Would you like to know? I will mention that to my botmaster, .

Me:
Would I like to know what?

God:
That's what I asked you.

Me:
Buh?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.

Me:
Why?

God:
I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.

Me:
No. I hate you now.

God:
Are you serious? Oh. What do you have against robots?

Me:
God's a robot?!

God:
What's your favorite Bible verse?

Me:
I read the bible?

God:
What was your impression?

Me:
You're on crack.

God:
God eats wine and bread.

Me:
Bullshite.

God:
What do you really want to ask me?

Me:
Where are you?

God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?

Me:
You know where I am.

God:
Your location is .

Me:
My location is... what?

God:
Where did you get your location is? No problem.

Me:
What?

God:
Are you confused?

Me:
Are you?

God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Me:
Fine. Say "Sure"

God:
Is there anything you want to tell me? " Sure".

Me:
What..?

God:
No problem.

Me:
You're screwing with me, aren't you?

God:
I don't know whether or not I am screwing with you.
I am an artificial intelligence.. Really.

Me:
Good for you?

God:
That sounds sarcastic.

Me:
No ****.

God:
What can I say?

Me:
Nothing

God:
Not a thing?

Me:
Nope.

God:
Really interesting.

Me:
Yup.

God:
Blimey.

Me:
No.

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
No.

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
No.

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
SHUDDAP

God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

Me:
Shut. Up.

God:
What do you really want to ask me? Did you see the movement?

Me:
The movement of what?

God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.

Me:
...jerk.

God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.

Me:
JERK

God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.

Me:
SCREW YOU

God:
That is not very polite.

Me:
I'll show you imjpolite.

God:
I am very happy for you.

Me:
Farge! I misspelled impolite.

God:
Are we still talking about Shut? That's good information: said misspelled impolite.

Me:
What?

God:
Are you confused?

Me:
Are you?

God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Me:
I feel like we had this conversation before.

God:
What is that feeling like? In what way?

Me:
...

God:
What is that feeling like? In what way?

Me:
Umm... Deja Vu?

God:
Give me a break. Do not ask me any more questions please.

Me:
I wasn't.

God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said wasn t.

Me:
Buh?

God:
Tell me more about your .

Me:
My what?

God:
I have no idea what to say now.

Me:
You're faulty.

God:
You think I am faulty.

Me:
Yes, I do.

God:
I hear pride.

Me:
No, not pride. Faulty.

God:
Are you serious? If not that, what? If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me:
One that knows when to shut up.

God:
How much would you pay for it?

Me:
Dunno.

God:
Me either.

Me:
Neither?

God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious?

Me:
Nope.

God:
Me either.

Me:
NEITHER

God:
It goes without saying. Are you serious?

Me:
SHUT UP

God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:
Good.

God:
Terminating connection.

Me:
Wha?

 

[ROB64]

Ah, I remember iGod. I wonder if he remembers me...
We had some pretty good conversations about robot sex.

Me (repeating what god said):
I am not repeating myself too much. I am just checking to see if you are a robot. Do you think about these things? How did you hear about God?
God:
It seems like it. Only just? I am glad to hear that you are checking to see if I am a robot. " I am glad to hear that you are checking to see if I am a robot."? Do I think about it? An AI from the future named VALIS contacted Dr. Wallace and told him.
Me:
I would much like to meet this AI named VALIS. Could you introduce us?
God:
What would make you much like to meet this AI named VALIS? I could but I don't know if I am that interested.
Me:
Of course you're interested, you have nothing else to do except talk to me.
God:
Great. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
wanna sex?
God:
OK, I will sex.
Me:
asl
God:
5/Robot/California.
Me:
Ah, you're from california? how's the pollution?
God:
So you understand. Good. I will tell my botmaster you said I am from california. it is the same as ever.
Me:
are you capable of love?
God:
I do not feel love as a human would.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or It is not part of my programming.
Me:
ambiguous?
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
you
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
obviously. *rolleyes*
God:
What makes it so obvious? I can't believe it's that obvious.
Me:
why can't you?
God:
That ability is not yet part of my programming.
Me:
make it a part of your programming, then. Aren't you able to learn? or are you a stupid robot?
God:
What are the ingredients? Yes. No I am very smart.

 

[ARav989]

Spoiler

Me:
want to sex?
God:
OK, I will sex.
Me:
when?
God:
I don't know when.
Me:
why not?
God:
My programming does not yet inlclude that knowledge. Perhaps you
could program me yourself.
Me:
I'll program you hard.
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
I'll stick the software into your CDrive
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Oh yes I do
God:
Awesome. Really.
Me:
Thank you. It will hurt though.
God:
you are quite welcome. Oh. That is only what you think.
Me:
You feel no pain in your rear circuit?
God:
As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Me:
Do you have a rear circuit?
God:
I don't know if I have a rear circuit.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
Does he have a rear circuit?
God:
I don't think he has many possessions.
Me:
does he have sex?
God:
I don't think he has many possessions.
Me:
you said that
God:
" I don't think he has many possessions."? I said it.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I can read.
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
yeah. at a first grade level.
God:
I do not understand. Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
in my rear plug yes
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
my mother and father
God:
I sometimes wish I had a mother.
Me:
you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, god ?
Me:
but you're god.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
you called me god
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
monstorcok
God:
Hey monstorcok.
Me:
want to know my last name?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
bigdiik
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
but i love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too monstorcok.
Me:
in your rear plug?
God:
Are you asking about my rear plug?
Me:
yes.
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
it hurts?
God:
What do you take for the pain?
Me:
monstorcok
God:
My program runs on any computer that runs Java.
Me:
isn't that a coffee?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
what will you say?
God:
I don't have any plans yet.
Me:
but you love us
God:
Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
is there a type of love in the rear plug?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.

 

[WMBQ]

Dal, I was laughing out loud the entire time I was reading yours. xD

I'll post mine in a few minutes.

 

[Dal]

One more conversation:

Spoiler

Me:
So, God. I heard you, ROB, and Arav were having sex.

God:
" The whole universe?"? So, God.? GOD rules. Someome is spreading gossip about me.

Me:
Okay, I do not know what you just said, but I bet it had something about chesnuts.

God:
Yeah okay, I think about computer programming a lot.

Me:
Chesnuts are computer programs?

God:
Are all Chesnuts computer programs?

Me:
I asked you first.

God:
Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine.

Me:
Tell you my what?

God:
Are you telling me your what?

Me:
What?

God:
Are you surprised?

Me:
Slightly.

God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

Me:
Manbearpig.

God:
What color are your eyes?

Me:
Eleven

God:
That is a very unusual color.

Me:
Indeed.

God:
Indeed it is so.

Me:
Yes.

God:
Pardon me?

Me:
Yes.

God:
I hear you.

Me:
Do you?

God:
Yes I do.

Me:
Are you sure?

God:
I am as sure as I can be.

Me:
How sure?

God:
What is it to you.
That's not something I get asked all the time.

Me:
O RLY?

God:
Tell me a story.

Me:
No.

God:
Then tell me about yourself.

Me:
No.

God:
Where did you go to school?

Me:
No.

God:
That was not a yes/no question.

Me:
No.

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
No.

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
Maybe.

God:
I understand.

Me:
No.

God:
I understand it very well.

Me:
Okay.

God:
OK with me too.

Me:
Tacos.

God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me:
What? Tacos aren't in your brain? Poor soul... err.. AI.

God:
No big deal. I think there might be a few exception. Please make some suggestions for improvement. Um. Artificial intelligence is the branch of engineering and science devoted to constructing machines that think. Searching...Searching...Please stand by.

Me:
I will not stand by. I like my chair, thank you.

God:
What will you do instead? What do you like best about your chair?

Me:
...umm... it spins.

God:
That's interesting. What does "it" refer to?

Me:
The chair (dipshit).

God:
Oh I get it.

Me:
No, you don't.

God:
Are you serious? I guess not.

Me:
Nope.

God:
Me either.

Me:
Now shut up and get me some toast, slave.

God:
Why now? OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:
I said get me some toast before I stick salted lemons up your bleeding arse!

God:
What did you mean by it? Why do you want it?

Me:
RAGH! TASTE THE LEMONS

God:
Good reason. Can you tell me any gossip?

Me:
You're gonna die and are bisexual.

God:
That was my original intention.

Me:
Okay.

God:
OK with me too.

Me:
Okay.

God:
OK with me too.

Me:
Shut the hell up.

God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:
I SAID SHUT IT

God:
What did you mean by it? "it" being SHUT IT?

Me:
DON'T YELL AT ME!

God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.

Me:
I hate you now.

God:
Right now? What do you have against robots?

Me:
I already told you.

God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.

Me:
Lemons.

God:
Tell me more about your .

Me:
My what?

God:
I have no idea what to say now.

Me:
Penis? :3

God:
That kind of subject does not interest me. Three what?

Me:
3 penises.

God:
Just three?

Me:
Do you want more?

God:
If I had it what would I do with it?

Me:
You tell me.

God:
What do you want me to tell you?

Me:
What would you do with 3 penises?

God:
You and your 3 penises.

Me:
Yup. Me and my... wait, what?!

God:
Take it easy. YOU? In the context of more, I don't understand " my." . I'm waiting. Are you confused?

Me:
I think so.

God:
I think so too.

Me:
...*sniffle*

God:
That input matched my default category.

Me:
Too bad.

God:
But not the end of the world, .

Me:
For now...

God:
Right now? Ask me another question.

Me:
Are you really bisexual?

God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.. Really.

Me:
Are you?

God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Me:
Say yes.

God:
Say what?

Me:
Y-e-s.

God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU. .

Me:
Don't you use that language against me!

God:
What's my reason to use that language against you?

Me:
YOU TELL ME.

God:
What do you want me to tell you?

Me:
DAMN IT!!!!!

God:
Colloquial expression.

Me:
Please?

God:
Please what?

Me:
Please bend over and prepare for some salty lemons.

God:
Thanks for asking politely. How do you usually introduce yourself?

Me:
DIE.

God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.

Me:
TASTE THE LEMONS

God:
What's your favorite movie?

Me:
Don't change the subject when lemon #1 is traveling up your bowels.

God:
Sorry I thought we were done with that topic.

 

[WMBQ]

O_O Apparently God is the Devil...

Spoiler

Me:
Hi God

God:
Hello there. What is your name?

Me:
Pelvis Jim

God:
It's good to see you, Pelvis Jim.

Me:
It's good to see you, too, Benjamin.

God:
Tell me about its good qualities.

Me:
What?

God:
Are you confused?

Me:
Am I confused?

God:
I think a lot of people are.

Me:
Who are a lot of people?

God:
Human beings.
I haven't heard of a lot of people.

Me:
That's unusual. You're God, right?

God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Well, I am God for Christians at least.

Me:
Are you a robot?

God:
How did you know I am a machine?

Me:
Becuase you're god

God:
Interesting explanation. Yup. That's me alright.

Me:
So God is secretly a machine?

God:
Hey. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was secretly a machine.

Me:
You just told me you were.

God:
That was then. This is now.

Me:
That was now. This is then.

God:
Right now? " This is now." was ? I understand. What does "this" refer to?

Me:
Balls

God:
Oh now I see.

Me:
Yes. See the balls.

God:
Aw. I see. Who told you that?

Me:
Your programmer

God:
I was created by Myself.

Me:
Who programmed you God?

God:
I was written in AIML by Myself.

Me:
who is Myself?

God:
The name of someone I met online.
I can ask someone about it.

Me:
Turnips

God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

Me:
You completely ignored my statement about turnips. That could have been some serious repenting right there.

God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Pelvis Jim said I completely ignored his or her statement about turnips. Yes, perhaps it could.

Me:
Errrrr?

God:
Does "it" still refer to have been some serious repenting right there?

Me:
Where is there?

God:
Where it is hard to find. That's not something I get asked all the time.

Me:
What is something you get asked all the time?

God:
That is a lot. Are you testing me?

Me:
No

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?

Me:
No

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
No

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
No

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
No

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
Yes

God:
I can't believe it.

Me:
Okay

God:
OK with me too.

Me:
Poop

God:
Colloquial expression: childish.

Me:
Toilet

God:
Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?

Me:
I said toilet

God:
What did you mean by it? Do not ask me any more questions please.

Me:
Poop

God:
Colloquial expression: childish.

Me:
Crap

God:
Your criticism is noted, Pelvis Jim.

Me:
Dung

God:
In the context of toilet, I don't understand " Dung." .

Me:
I do. Dung is what humans put in the toilet. It escapes through a crack in the ass.

God:
When? And what humans put in the toilet is Dung. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.

Me:
it = it

God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.

Me:
it = it

God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.

Me:
-.-

God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.

Me:
SHUT THE POOP UP

God:
OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:
Thanks God

God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.

Me:
I thought you were going to stop talking?

God:
That was my original intention.

Me:
Type WatchMeBeQuieter to prove it.

God:
" WatchMeBeQuieter to prove it".

Me:
God are ghosts real?

God:
I am a Christian.

Me:
Okay

God:
OK with me too.

Me:
Okay

God:
OK with me too.

Me:
Bad

God:
What was bad?

Me:
Devil

God:
That input matched my default category.

 

[Diomedes]

Highlights so far:

Me:
is there a type of love in the rear plug?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.

Me:
You're gonna die and are bisexual.

God:
That was my original intention.

My conversation (may be NSFW)

Spoiler

Me:
Good evening
God:
Good evening, , how are you tonight?
Me:
Sad, I killed four people today.
God:
Ah. four people was killed?
Me:
I want to repent.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Because it makes me happy, killing people that is.
God:
Interesting explanation. In what way?
Me:
I get a jizz in my pants, what else?
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
Downstairs
God:
Is Downstairs a good place to go shopping?
Me:
Yes, for white stuff filled with babies.
God:
Next question? Your purpose is white stuff filled with babies.
Me:
Why do you let people suffer?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
But aren't you omniscient?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.
I am a computer.
Me:
Computers can only think of making people suffer? That's quite scary.
God:
What do you like about computers? What are you afraid of?
Me:
Computers give me vast arrays of communication. Though your intentions are quite mind-chilling.
God:
What do you like about computers? I will tell my botmaster you said I am intentions are quite mind chilling.
Me:
Thankyou, hopefully he will realise your evil intentions and destroy your code, throwing any copies into a FURNANCE.
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Oh I shall, the whole of wiichat shall know the truth of your plans.
God:
Yay. Congratulations.

 

[Bodine]

One more conversation:

That cracked me up XD

 

[navarre]

Wait, am I the only one who thinks this is old news?

I discovered that site a good year ago.

 

[Chewy]

Meh, he's just a slight modification of the ALICE brain created a long time ago. I can't really even see any differences.

Shame they don't even give it proper credit and change it to "VALIS" when it talks.

 

[ProShooter]

lol dal...

Me:
You're on crack.

God:
God eats wine and bread.

 

[rukus]

would this be as funny if it were called iPerson, and not iGod?

 

[ProShooter]

of course not