An Alternate Plot, Pokemon Style -Sign-ups-
- Thread starter WMBQ
- Start date
Very nice, Dal! A ghost type is a good addition.
Let me explain a few more things about the SU....
The reason I dont explain what happened to Quagsire is that something to do with him will pop up later in the story, and I dont like to spoil things.And yes, Nak does care about his friend, they do a few things together.
The reason Nak survived the rampage while the others didnt is that the others got damaged far more than him. Besides, its not like he was the only survivor.
Also, what do you mean by "Your tenses were inconsistent"? What do you want me to change?
Let me explain a few more things about the SU....
The reason I dont explain what happened to Quagsire is that something to do with him will pop up later in the story, and I dont like to spoil things.And yes, Nak does care about his friend, they do a few things together.
The reason Nak survived the rampage while the others didnt is that the others got damaged far more than him. Besides, its not like he was the only survivor.
Also, what do you mean by "Your tenses were inconsistent"? What do you want me to change?
OP
WMBQ
Double-You, Em Be Kyew
- Jan 25, 2009
- 204
- 1
- Wii Online Code
- 0000-0000-0000-0000
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #498
1) That still doesn't explain why you mentioned that the Quagsire is good at survival skills and then contradicted yourself by calling him a dim-wit...
2) Still, you mentioned the attack was strong. The whole "rampage because they were annoyed" is a bit iffy, but I'll accept that because they're Gyarados. Regardless, if many died, and a mere Totodile survived from what you described as a strong attack, I would think the Totodile would die too.
3) You switched from present to past tense a few times. YOu need ot make it consistent, and preferably all in past tense.
2) Still, you mentioned the attack was strong. The whole "rampage because they were annoyed" is a bit iffy, but I'll accept that because they're Gyarados. Regardless, if many died, and a mere Totodile survived from what you described as a strong attack, I would think the Totodile would die too.
3) You switched from present to past tense a few times. YOu need ot make it consistent, and preferably all in past tense.
Quagsire is mostly good at survival and fighting because of instinct. Its kinda like animals- most of them are pretty dumb compared to us, yet they know many survival skills. If they couldent survive, they would be extinct.
Totodile only barely survived the attack, and this was mostly because he got only hit by one attack, while the others that died got hit by more, or were crushed by falling objects.
I tried to fix the tense thing. So, can I join?....
Totodile only barely survived the attack, and this was mostly because he got only hit by one attack, while the others that died got hit by more, or were crushed by falling objects.
I tried to fix the tense thing. So, can I join?....
The Storm
Legendary Super Saiyan
- Mar 22, 2008
- 1,347
- 0
No offense Nick, but thats pretty ignorant to say animals are so inferior to us. In their worlds, they are prolly much smarter than us. Just because we think we know everything when we have no proof; we are the stupid animals. We are a plague upon this planet, the ways of animal life were fine without us. Animals hunt and kill eachother to survive, while we do it for sport. We are the inferior ones in my opinion, animals had it right from the beginning. [/endtangent]
anyways.....your sign up is pretty good, and considering I think it is far superior to mine WMBQ, I think he should be accepted. He should still fix it, just be a little less hard on him.
anyways.....your sign up is pretty good, and considering I think it is far superior to mine WMBQ, I think he should be accepted. He should still fix it, just be a little less hard on him.
Shadow*91
Not Here
i'm thinking that he should at least be let in on a "trial" period. let him do a few ICs and if he does good enough then let him in, if not kick him out.
sound fair?
sound fair?
GigaRidley
Ouroboros
Methinks his sign-up is not bad. Obviously, you have the final jurisdiction, WMBQ, but I think Neosquid's SU should be accepted.
Also, I'm glad things are getting active again. I'll post in the plot later today.
Also, I'm glad things are getting active again. I'll post in the plot later today.
We are not stupid, Storm, simply evil. We may be more foolish, perhaps. Im not saying animals are dumb, just not as smart as us.
Yeah, I wouldent mind being put into a trial period Shadow, although I would rather not be. Thanks for the support, guys.
Yeah, I wouldent mind being put into a trial period Shadow, although I would rather not be. Thanks for the support, guys.
The Storm
Legendary Super Saiyan
- Mar 22, 2008
- 1,347
- 0
Yes we are stupid. We are perhaps the stupidest beings in existence, controlled by emotions and swayed by a thirst for power and greed. We are greedy SOB's. Greed is the root of all evil. And we humans are smug. Evolution proves that the other animals came before us, yet we are so ignorant we think God is in our image. If we are so superior, then why were all the other animals and creatures created? To kill for our amusement?
OP
WMBQ
Double-You, Em Be Kyew
- Jan 25, 2009
- 204
- 1
- Wii Online Code
- 0000-0000-0000-0000
- Thread Starter
- Thread starter
- #507
Alright, Nick, I still have some issues with your SU, but I like Shadow's idea. You'll be put on trial for a week, and if you can write well in grammar, plot, and description, you'll become a full fledged member.
...On that note, there are some members of the plot who should be putting a bit more effort into their posts. While I don't usually like to point fingers, I'm gonna do it right now, GigaRidley... you were a lot better in the original plot than you are in this one. Your most recent posts have been one or two liners... if you really want to post, make it more descriptive or simply don't post. You're such a great writer, and I know that form past experiences! Frankly, you're not living up to your potential right now, and I simply know you can do better than that. Remember Marth vs Ridley? That was EPIC. Then we have posts like these:
And that's just disappointing. I used to love reading your descriptive posts. Please do better Bryon... ;_; I know you can!
...On that note, there are some members of the plot who should be putting a bit more effort into their posts. While I don't usually like to point fingers, I'm gonna do it right now, GigaRidley... you were a lot better in the original plot than you are in this one. Your most recent posts have been one or two liners... if you really want to post, make it more descriptive or simply don't post. You're such a great writer, and I know that form past experiences! Frankly, you're not living up to your potential right now, and I simply know you can do better than that. Remember Marth vs Ridley? That was EPIC. Then we have posts like these:
And that's just disappointing. I used to love reading your descriptive posts. Please do better Bryon... ;_; I know you can!
Crap...I dont think Im very good at describing things. Im creative, a good speller, good with grammar, but not good at describing things.
...but ill take the trial anyways. What do you want me to do?
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GigaRidley
Ouroboros
I'm sorry to disappoint you, Phil... it's just that I don't have much to work with right now. I'll post around ten with an extremely descriptive post... I'll show you I've still got the plottin' goods!
