Insomniacs assemble!!

Overall mood these past few days has been a bit.

Ill just say "suicidal"
 
Well ****, we can't have that. Just givin' me the title of best super mod wouldn't be fun. Gotta fight for it.












... Bad jhokes aside, hang in there Bloke. I attempted suicide way back when, quite a good few years ago. Thank the Gods I failed every time, 'cause my life's been lookin' up these past six months. There's always hope for a better future 'til you've life in prison.
 
Overall mood these past few days has been a bit.

Ill just say "suicidal"

I know that feeling, been having it lately myself. Will also spare the details.

If you're caught in the haze of every day repitition, everything seeming to fade, all that's really necessary is new connections being made in your mind. Going a little crazy is fine as long as one doesn't make their situation worse in the process. Really, just connecting with people is the best you can do, there are always people around if you don't like shrinks, which I can understand the sentiment, I hate myself and my kind as well, we're fairly reprehensible if we actually expect compensation for our work, kind of like clinical doctors.

As for the pain itself... you can't just let time pass, you can try that but one has to move on before time means anything. I also understand that moving on from whoever you are now is a concept that's easy to find disagreeable, especially depending on the source of the pain. There are some things that you can't grow back, a permanent mental limp.

It does get better if you persist, you may already hear that a lot, but that's because it has to be said. Whether the internalized vacuum becomes a method to force yourself to keep going in honor of it, in search of filling it, or something to run from in defiance, They all get better. There are pit falls along the way surely, but it's always better than the alternative. You have to play the game to win, and a fifty fifty win loss ratio is better than forfeit. I haven't said anything extraordinary, but that's simply because this is a drill. Discipline and critical thinking are what keep people alive, not wit or bravado, and certainly not faith.

I'd also like to clarify that I don't like my post, I'd rather revise it for the next few years and then never actually share it, but I refuse to give in to the bystander effect. Bad things happen because everyone is waiting for someone else to man up and deal with it, the defusion of responsibility. Might also be overreacting quite heavily since this side of life tends to make me act in accordance with the worst possible eventuality.
 
Mood improved.
Get to see BigElf tonight
New bicycle tomorrow
Maybe a visit from my "girlfriend" Sunday, sheets have been cleaned and extra pillows are out................
 
look at how fabulously black my hair is now

IMG_20141115_181410710_zpsc4f6f2ec.jpg

I suppose it makes me look a bit emo but shut up I like it

Ill just say "suicidal"
suicide is lame
only lame people commit suicide
 
^But my arses awesomeness cancels that out
 
......Maybe a visit from my "girlfriend" Sunday......
Why is girlfriend in quotes? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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only dead people commit suicide
fix'd
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New schedule at work... Been only able to play Smash in the late morn to the afternoon. Work. Then do some relaxation at night before bed. Weekend came, almost forgot about a tourny. Played okay. Too bad it's now Monday again...
 
Why is girlfriend in quotes? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Its basically the best bits of having one, she travels a lot and only really sees me when shes "In the mood"
 
^You sure you don't know me under a different pseudonym? Oh wait, I'm too pretentious to be anyone else...
 
Dunno lol, i was busy Sunday anyway
 
****ing eight tests this week

Won't be around to hype Smash Wii U on release date, but I'll be getting it on Black Friday...hopefully.
 
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