I really need some help here (girl problems)

[Ezekiel86]

Hey everyone.

If you could be so kind as to lend me your help in this aptly titled self-centred thread, it would be greatly appreciated...

Well... as the title implies, there's a girl that I like... We met last year at the Big Day Out (2006) in February... I never really thought much of our meeting at the time... but as time passed, I found myself becoming more and more attached to her... While everything else was going down, she was always there for me... (just for the record she is now 18 and I am 20).

She lives down in Busselton (A country town about three(3) hours south of Perth, while I reside in Perth. So distance has made things hard, but we always kept in fairly good communication. However, sometime in mid February she says she will be moving to Perth for University.

For a long time (the last few months) things went up and down, she was saying she loved me at one point, and a month or two later she thought she might like some other guy... We've kept on going as friends for a while... but I told her tonight that I still "[sic]like" her... When I asked her if she still "[sic]liked" me, she replies with "no... probably not... I just like you as a friend"...

I might be seeing her this weekend at this years Big Day Out music festival... The thing is I don't really know if I want to see her... I suppose you could say, if "I can't have all of her, I don't want her"... which is kind of how I feel... But at the same time I don't want to pressure her into making a decision like that... If we were going to be together I want it to happen because she likes me for who I am, and not because she feels pressured to.

I don't know what to do... one part of me wants her to be happy (whether that comes from being with me or not)... but another part just wants things to go my way, because I'm so sick of having nothing work out for me... I just want something to go my way for a change... And I have no freaking idea what to do!! Help would be greatly appreciated, as I'm so confused right now

 

[King Wiired]

I personally feel you need to gulp, and move on. Go to the music festival, don't just not go 'cause she's there, go there with friends and have fun. Don't go talk to her, if she is at all interested in the friendship or even more, she'll more then likely come talk to you. I know it's not easy, 'cause girls can be silly and some, which seems to be in this case, use love to easily, whereas they just know you like them, in which they abuse that (not being sexist, some guys do it too). I say, go look for some more girls, whether its at this music festival or not. If you see a girl who you find attractive, or looks like a remotely nice person, then pluck up courage and go talk to her, 'cause I'm sure that couple of seconds of fear will be much more comforting then having months more of anxiety with this current girl.
Unless, you go to the music festival (which I feel you should whatever happens) and she's like all over you, your feelings at the time might just run riot, and be like 'yeah I'll stick with her, I love her etc..' in which I say just think about what the situation, and reality, before you get straight into things.
Hope I've helped in some way... peace.

 

[Ezekiel86]

I personally feel you need to gulp, and move on. Go to the music festival, don't just not go 'cause she's there, go there with friends and have fun. Don't go talk to her, if she is at all interested in the friendship or even more, she'll more then likely come talk to you. I know it's not easy, 'cause girls can be silly and some, which seems to be in this case, use love to easily, whereas they just know you like them, in which they abuse that (not being sexist, some guys do it too). I say, go look for some more girls, whether its at this music festival or not. If you see a girl who you find attractive, or looks like a remotely nice person, then pluck up courage and go talk to her, 'cause I'm sure that couple of seconds of fear will be much more comforting then having months more of anxiety with this current girl.
Unless, you go to the music festival (which I feel you should whatever happens) and she's like all over you, your feelings at the time might just run riot, and be like 'yeah I'll stick with her, I love her etc..' in which I say just think about what the situation, and reality, before you get straight into things.
Hope I've helped in some way... peace.

Wow, thanks man, that's just the kind of response I was looking for. You raise some very valid points, and I totally agree, I'm definitely going to the music festival. I agree, the term "love" is used far too frivulously (if thats how its spelt) and it's use is not always appropriate. I mean there are some contexts where it's universally acceptable (for example, in a forum like this, it's commonplace to hear people stating "I love the Wii!" and we accept it) but when it comes to feelings between two people, it's a word that should be used with great respect.

When it comes to anxiety, I've already put up with so much of that with this girl. I suppose the way I looked at it was "I've already put this much time into it, I might as well try to make it work". When I explained that to my sister she said it's flawed because if we all approached relationships with that logic, everybody would be miserable, and I totally understand where she comes from with that statement.

I guess that's what it comes down to now... I can't keep on hanging out for her, because if I do I'll just keep getting hurt and be even unhappier... You raise some very valid points my friend.

I like you man, you speak straight from the heart. But I must be off now, it's about 3:19am and I really should get some sleep...

 

[Wii_Revolution]

I got 99 problems but a ***** ain't one!

I agree with all that Wiired has said.

 

[WiiGirl2006]

Hey everyone.

If you could be so kind as to lend me your help in this aptly titled self-centred thread, it would be greatly appreciated...

Well... as the title implies, there's a girl that I like... We met last year at the Big Day Out (2006) in February... I never really thought much of our meeting at the time... but as time passed, I found myself becoming more and more attached to her... While everything else was going down, she was always there for me... (just for the record she is now 18 and I am 20).

She lives down in Busselton (A country town about three(3) hours south of Perth, while I reside in Perth. So distance has made things hard, but we always kept in fairly good communication. However, sometime in mid February she says she will be moving to Perth for University.

For a long time (the last few months) things went up and down, she was saying she loved me at one point, and a month or two later she thought she might like some other guy... We've kept on going as friends for a while... but I told her tonight that I still "[sic]like" her... When I asked her if she still "[sic]liked" me, she replies with "no... probably not... I just like you as a friend"...

I might be seeing her this weekend at this years Big Day Out music festival... The thing is I don't really know if I want to see her... I suppose you could say, if "I can't have all of her, I don't want her"... which is kind of how I feel... But at the same time I don't want to pressure her into making a decision like that... If we were going to be together I want it to happen because she likes me for who I am, and not because she feels pressured to.

I don't know what to do... one part of me wants her to be happy (whether that comes from being with me or not)... but another part just wants things to go my way, because I'm so sick of having nothing work out for me... I just want something to go my way for a change... And I have no freaking idea what to do!! Help would be greatly appreciated, as I'm so confused right now

I don't know if you wanted a girl's view on the subject, but I can give you some advice. First off now that she knows you still like her, she will most likely use it to her advantage, but not all girls are like that. Second off if you go to this festival following her around like a puppy she either might get creeped out or might think that she can play head games with you, because she knows you still like her, which will make things worse for you. If I were you I would just go to this festival have fun with your friends and enjoy yourself, don't worry about what she is thinking about (even tho it might be hard). If she really wanted to be your friend she would come up and talk to you, if she ignores you then she is not worth getting upset over. If she says she wants to be just friends, it is most likely true, it prolly will be hard for you, but just think about all this time you are wasting on someone that doesn't want to be with you. Like the other person that posted before me, find someone at the festival and talk to her, it never hurts to try. I wish you luck! :thumbsup:

 

[GreenBean713]

i didnt read anyone elses reply so if i repeat soemthign sorry.

i know how you feel dude. me and this have liked each other for 6 years now. SIX YEARS. we always miss a chance with each other. but now...i just gave up and moved on. one of the hardest things ive ever had to do ya know?

ask her if she wants to try. cause you dont wanna think WHAT IF. and if she says know. respect that man. any guy like you that has enough balls to ask people on here for help is a good man.

just keep the head up and chest out. just be yourself. sometimes the hardest part of holding on is letting go.

 

[SukhKular]

If I've learned anything over the years, it's that girls like to play games just to see what you'll do. My girl has admitted to that a few times. My advice (which actually worked every time I tried it) is to play it cool. Act like you're not interested. Don't be mean or anything. Act like you would around someone you were strictly friends with. If it works, THEN I RULE... If it doesn't, it's because of something else, not my advice.

Oh, and if you need any reassurance... It worked on my girl... Our wedding date is set for May 2008.

And if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Don't stress too much over it. I've been through it and it sucks when it's happening but you do move on. Like I was with this girl who I swore to myself I would treat like a frickin' goddess, man. And I did. I did everything I could for her. I look back now and she wasn't even that great. I mean I remember thinking a thousand times to myself that I was too good for her, but I never acted on simply because I loved her to death. She left me because she was getting bored of us, which I sort of was, too. But I never would have left her. No matter how shitty things had gotten. She didn't seem to feel the same way. Point is...You move on to better things. Besides, you're still young... (I am too... I'm 20 as well) Don't go out looking for another girl to replace her, but try to keep yourself preoccupied with your other friends so you don't have a chance to miss her. And hey, if you happen to meet another girl by accident... Go for it. I don't recommend looking for another girl, but if one falls into your lap (pun intended) then act on it. You'll be happy you did. BTW: You can PM me if you don't want the details all over the net.

 

[KINGSHIPLEY]

dont let on that you like her as much ....i know (the other way around) if a girl likes me more then me likin her i would always use that to my advantage as in there was no point on me even trying to be with her if you she was throwin herself to me...gotta make her feel like shes missing out...been there man... went through a hell ride trying to get at my girl i have now...bout 3 months worth of crap...been together ever since 10 months this sunday...and she also now lives with me.

 

[surfinrach90]

Dude I think ya need to forget about her man

I'm sure there's alot of nice girls just living around the corner from you :thumbsup:

 

[King Wiired]

Wow, thanks man, that's just the kind of response I was looking for. You raise some very valid points, and I totally agree, I'm definitely going to the music festival. I agree, the term "love" is used far too frivulously (if thats how its spelt) and it's use is not always appropriate. I mean there are some contexts where it's universally acceptable (for example, in a forum like this, it's commonplace to hear people stating "I love the Wii!" and we accept it) but when it comes to feelings between two people, it's a word that should be used with great respect.

When it comes to anxiety, I've already put up with so much of that with this girl. I suppose the way I looked at it was "I've already put this much time into it, I might as well try to make it work". When I explained that to my sister she said it's flawed because if we all approached relationships with that logic, everybody would be miserable, and I totally understand where she comes from with that statement.

I guess that's what it comes down to now... I can't keep on hanging out for her, because if I do I'll just keep getting hurt and be even unhappier... You raise some very valid points my friend.

I like you man, you speak straight from the heart. But I must be off now, it's about 3:19am and I really should get some sleep...

Totally forgot about this thread and I'm glad you agree with some of my advice I'm soo pleased to hear you're going to the music festival, 'cause most people in your situation wouldn't go, just to avoid something good/bad happening. Good luck to you my friend, and you've got all my respect

 

[Riviet]

This thread has been a good read for myself, haven't even had one gf yet. Hopefully I'll find someone in uni (about to start first year at UNSW, Australia).

Ezekiel86: I'm sure we would like to hear from you and how it all goes with her. All the best mate. :thumbsup:

 

[The_Loose_Cannon]

wow are we girls THAT bad when we're younge? i dont remember making guys this insane and depressed

im sorry about your girl problems Ezekiel86. pretty much all of you guys said what i would of said too in a nut shell..... sigh.

i wish you the best of luck kiddo and TRUST me there are ALOT of girls out there who have similar delemahs as you so dont feel bad and i know there is a girl out there just dying to date you and love you almost as much as you love them

chin up we're not all that evil :lol:

 

[GhOsT55]

just bang her.....ive got nothing else to say.

 

[~Marisa~]

Well, I have a bit of advice but I'm too lazy to type it all right now lol. You can add me on msn if you want Ez and we can talk if you need someone to talk to


are.you.afraid.of.the.dark@hotmail.com

 

[LordofGoron]

You'll never find your answer. Sorry to let you down. With girls, there is no way just to make them like you no matter what. Just find her weakness and strike it.