Question for the girls...

[wiiwillstand]

i hear you, I understand, but I'm not at that stage yet! And when you say work out and turn myself into something she can't walk away from, I don't agree with that. If she really loves me, she'll come willingly, and not on behalf of looks. I know there's other people out there, but when you've known someone for so long, you can't just throw her away and find someone exactly the same, it just isn't right, in my opinion...

 

[PotatoWedgie]

i hear you, I understand, but I'm not at that stage yet! And when you say work out and turn myself into something she can't walk away from, I don't agree with that. If she really loves me, she'll come willingly, and not on behalf of looks. I know there's other people out there, but when you've known someone for so long, you can't just throw her away and find someone exactly the same, it just isn't right, in my opinion...

Hmmm...love without any physical attraction. It's a common theme these days, but it's not realistic. Real love is something that happens over time, years in most cases, and without physical attraction there as well, love has very little time to grow.

Some people say love is possible at first sight, but this very rarely happens. Often does a guy meet a girl, they go out, he tells her he "loves" her...and they break up weeks or months later. That's not love.

Finally, you're not throwing her away. She already threw you away. I hate to say it like that, but man...you don't want a girl like that. She already knows she has the opportunity, right this moment, to go out with you. But she hasn't seized it. Don't make the mistake of waiting around for someone who doesn't want you...you'll only hurt yourself.

 

[nintendo J]

how about give her 5 bucks to go out with you who could rezist that ofer.:cornut:

 

[ThatGuy127]

I have the same problem (and for future reference, I'm 14), only a little different. There's this girl at my school, she is the most beautiful girl in our school, and I'm not exaggerating. I really like her; She's in my thoughts everyday, I just can't get her out of my head. She knows I like her already; I made a duct tape rose and attached to it a poem, "In a field of flowers, all are the same. But you catch my eye with only a glance." I'm just trying to be sweet (I hear they like that). Well, I haven't talked to her since. Everyday I contemplate asking her to the movies. Unfortunately, we live in a very judgmental world. She's never alone so I never get the chance to ask her. I refuse to give her a note because it screams "CHICKEN!" A few of her friends know. I have a list of ten things I love about her. I'm going to give it to her on Valentine's Day. But I don't know if that's enough. I need to gain the courage to talk to her. I'm pretty much one of the ugliest guys in my school, which is why it's so hard to talk to her. I'm not just going for her because she's hot, or beautiful, or gorgeous, etc. I'm going after her because she's (as wiiwillstand said), "he kind of girl that can make you feel better no matter what. She makes you smile no matter what the cause. She looks at you and you feel the butterflies flutter in panic." I try to make myself not care what others think, but it's hard. Not only that, but there's the fact that most girls at our age (and every other age) is shallow, basing their judgments on looks or physical ability. I need help... Or rehab.

 

[PotatoWedgie]

I vote rehab. Damn. I know I was the same way when I was 14/15, but I really wish I spent more of my time on things that woulda helped me with girls at this age than that one!

 

[wiiwillstand]

i do love her looks, but that's not the point, she's the only one who really accepted me. Now I know that's pretty stupid, after she walked away from me, but she also didn't realize that I even had the slightest interest in her. She took it as a shock, and she knew she had to get out of there. It also may be the way she thinks other would think of it, being the person that I am. I am a nice guy, everyone likes me, so I'm still not sure. Maybe it's her choices, between me and my friend. She actually knew there was something wrong with me. We were walking down the hall to my locker, I'd told that I wanted to talk to her. I started to shake, I was fading away, it felt like a terrible dream. She knew I wasn't feeling right, she even asked if I was alright. Then I said, yes, and layed it out clear and flat. She thought it was a joke, I told here once again, then she started walking with a friend................................but she still smiles at me...everyday.

 

[~Marisa~]

Well, this is a very slippery slope. I know exactly how you feel when you say you're confused. I put my current boyfriend through the same thing. Him and I met when I already had a boyfriend but the boyfriend I had when I met him didn't treat me that well. He never showed me love or compassion and would ignore me for months at a time. He wouldn't even communicate with me enough to break it off - He was too chicken. I had secretly fallen in love with Mitchell (My current boyfriend) and he with me. But we both knew I had to break it off.


I went through stages where I thought my relationship could re-kindled and it confused Mitchell beyond belief. Mitchell felt like I was so special that he would wait all eternity. He waited almost a year for me until my ex and I finally broke-up. Mitchell and I have have now been dating for almost 2 years.

Now, that being said - it depends on the amount of dedication you have to this. My brother went through that same thing as well - with a girl at her work who had a boyfriend, my brother and the girl were "friends" My brother waited for a long time and finally realized that she will never leave him. I also have an older friend who is sleeping with a married man and is convinced he will eventually leave his family (but it will never happen).



I must honestly say that it's a very difficult subject to give advice on. Sometimes the wait is worth it - Sometimes it's a waste of time. It depends on how special the girl is and how much you care for her.



One thing I MUST tell you though is DO NOT underestimate yourself. You have to know you're worth finding other girls and that you can be loved by someone just as wonderful. I think my current boyfriend and I just got lucky because the changing of the tides just happened to sweep us down the same current. It's a lovely romance story but can be quite unrealistic. Then again, I won't tell you that you're not dedicated and in love because it's not my place and you could very well be madly in love.



My best advice is to us common sense because sometimes something as simple as simple logic is the best thing to use with such a complicated subject. One thing to remember is not to let only your heart do all the work - Healthy love requires the works of both your heart AND your brain. Love just tends to feel so magical you conclude that it must be only your heart's job, but just remind yourself that it also takes smarts; smarts enough to know when to hold on, and when to let go.




The best of luck to you!!! I'm rooting for ya!!!! :ihih:


And thanks to surfinrach for your vote of faith in my opinion haha :blush2:

 

[Gymdawg]

how about give her 5 bucks to go out with you who could rezist that ofer.:cornut:

Maybe a girl with a groundlevel moral standing

 

[wiiwillstand]

that really got me thinkin. I have to be honest, I'm aware of the fact that things might not work out with us, so I do think of other girls, like in my other classes. But I won't and will not do anything drastic until I know a clear and straight answer to our future. I'll just see what happens tomorrow. Besides, I guess if I've already told her that I love her, then what's so bad about going to talk to her? It's just timing, and "brains." Thanks Marisa.

 

[~Marisa~]

that really got me thinkin. I have to be honest, I'm aware of the fact that things might not work out with us, so I do think of other girls, like in my other classes. But I won't and will not do anything drastic until I know a clear and straight answer to our future. I'll just see what happens tomorrow. Besides, I guess if I've already told her that I love her, then what's so bad about going to talk to her? It's just timing, and "brains." Thanks Marisa.

Exactly. You've already let the worms out of the can and had the guts to do it - which I totally applaud you for. Lots of guys love a girl for years and never tell her, ever. You've already broken the ice so you may as well settle it the rest of the way.

And regardless of what happens - if you end up with her or not, I know you'll end up with someone who's worth being with you because you're clearly a very romantic and dedicated man and any girl would be fortunate to be with you. If it doesn't work out - don't feel bad because you saw what you wanted and had the guts to go for it. If it does - than the confusion was worth it. Everything will work out :arf:

 

[wiiwillstand]

thanks, only time will tell i suppose, see ya later, and thanks again.

 

[ThatGuy127]

I don't know what to say... I really do like her, probably enough to say that I love her. But we're at an age where we hardly know what true love is. We hear about it in movies and on TV, but don't really know what it feels like. She's in my head everywhere I go. In my dreams as I sleep, in my thoughts as I wake. She's the most wonderful girl I've ever met. The thing is, I don't have the courage to ask her out to a movie. I know I can do it, I picture it in my head: I go up to her, surrounded by her friends, ask her if I can talk to her really quick. We step aside, and then I ask her if she wants to go to the movies. I imagine her saying yes, then going back to her friends and laughing about it. I know I can do it, but the nerves get to me. I even almost asked her on the way out to the parking lot. But what if she says no? What if she doesn't like me? It's only the worst case scenario, but I don't want it to happen. I really need help on this. Should I tell her? Of course. But if I do, there are three possible outcomes:

A) She says yes.
B) She says no, and that's the end of it. Or
C) She says no, tells her friends, word gets around the school and I'm known as "The nerd who asked Shelby out" for the rest of my High School career.

A and B are good, but there's also C. Theres only a 33% chance it will happen, but what if that 33% is on steroids? I seriously think that if I get denied and totally embarrassed, I won't be able to love again. I just don't know what to do.

 

[Minto]

I have the same problem (and for future reference, I'm 14), only a little different. There's this girl at my school, she is the most beautiful girl in our school, and I'm not exaggerating. I really like her; She's in my thoughts everyday, I just can't get her out of my head. She knows I like her already; I made a duct tape rose and attached to it a poem, "In a field of flowers, all are the same. But you catch my eye with only a glance." I'm just trying to be sweet (I hear they like that). Well, I haven't talked to her since. Everyday I contemplate asking her to the movies. Unfortunately, we live in a very judgmental world. She's never alone so I never get the chance to ask her. I refuse to give her a note because it screams "CHICKEN!" A few of her friends know. I have a list of ten things I love about her. I'm going to give it to her on Valentine's Day. But I don't know if that's enough. I need to gain the courage to talk to her. I'm pretty much one of the ugliest guys in my school, which is why it's so hard to talk to her. I'm not just going for her because she's hot, or beautiful, or gorgeous, etc. I'm going after her because she's (as wiiwillstand said), "he kind of girl that can make you feel better no matter what. She makes you smile no matter what the cause. She looks at you and you feel the butterflies flutter in panic." I try to make myself not care what others think, but it's hard. Not only that, but there's the fact that most girls at our age (and every other age) is shallow, basing their judgments on looks or physical ability. I need help... Or rehab.

just find the 8 bits of the triforce of courage then you'll have all the courage you want

 

[wiiwillstand]

hey bro, I had the same prob, just ask if you can talk to her in rivate, lead up to it, and when the moment is right, tell her. It worked for me, if she's a good girl, she won't tell anyone and make fun of you. Also, it's better just to tell her and get an answer rather then hurting yourself, sad thing is, I never got an answer, just an awkward pause. But smiles never die, and that's important.

 

[ThatGuy127]

I know, but... I just can't. Every time I think about it - when I'm three feet away and about to go ask her - I get 'the butterflies'. I wanna do it, but I'm afraid of the outcome.